Dragon's Den.. ish

I run a small business from home. I'm looking for people to invest. I have brothers and a dad. Who better? A copy of my email.. cos you know, I couldn't just ask normally.. I have to do a whole back story...

This week on Dragon's Den...Katie S is looking for (£ an
indeterminate amount) in return for 0% shares in her company
www.somethingsomething.co.uk (deleted business name... advertising otherwise!)

Hello Dragons (ie: you lot... I was
thinking Dad can be Peter Jones, Ian, Theo Paphitis, Nick, Duncan
Bannatyne.. sadly that means James is Deborah Meadon.. sorry about
that!)

Business Name is a new and excitng business created
entirely from scratch. We aim to provide quality Catholic items to the
religious community. To date, there are approximately 2 million
catholics living in Great Britain. Catholic feel guilt, it's a
documented fact.. therefore they buy stuff to assuage that guilt. We
are looking to sell that stuff. Well, sell more than we do already.. you know, different stuff.

(Voiceover man.... Dragon's are looking bored as Katie starts losing her words.. Katie tries valiently to rescue her pitch)

We have an established
advertising campaign in place.. we have placed free adverts in 55
parish magazines throughout Great Britain (due to fancy talking) We are
in the process of sending cards and flyers out to Scottish people (not
random Scottish people, actual friends - Yes Duncan (aka Nick) I do
have friends..) We also have a Google Adwords account in place (DO NOT
google and click.. it costs me money) and various word of mouth thingy wotsits.

We are looking to expand
our range of items and have sourced suppliers in Israel, China and
America. This is where you come in. For minimal wallet activity, you
too could be a non shareholder part of Business Name. You could
share in the glory of success, with none of the rewards.

(Voiceover Guy - Katie seems to have rescued her pitch with the promise of no return on the Dragon's investment.. will they be feeling charitable?)

Does it sound like an offer you can refuse? I don't think so.

Over to you Dragons.. Any questions?

(Cut
to voiceover repeating everything I just said because he population of
the UK seems to have the memory of a dead flea. Or at least that's what
the BBC thinks... )

Yeah, I know. But it might persuade one of them to invest. I have to keep Lal in Gingerbread Men somehow...

K xx