The Cautionary Tale of Language Development

Lal's nursery and I are working together to find a solution to the problem, but I just can't think of anything that we can do. I've been trying to change it for weeks now, and nothing works. Nothing.

I may have mentioned that Lal's speech is coming along quite nicely now. He only has one sentence "Want Daddy now.." but the single words are endless. He does, however, have two words for things which are.. well rude. So please don't read on if you are easily offended. *sigh*

Yesterday at nursery, it was Music Day. They had marraccas, triangles, cymbals, drums, keyboards.. you know, all the things that I have to take a migraine pill before I can allow him to play with them at home. And there were singing plans.

The first song was an innocuous one about houses. "This is the house that Jack built" to be precise.

This is the malt that lay in the house..that Jack built.

Perfectly pleasant words. Nice tune. Unfortunately, Lal can't say "house." He does love to sing though, so babbled meaninglessly until he shouted the word "ARSE" As in, "this is the arse that Jack built." There are 12 verses, each verse contains the word arse. There are now 6 other children who think that house is pronounced arse. I'm expecting parental letters.

The staff were a little confused, and worried, but must have thought that they'd be safe if they sang "5 little speckled frogs." I promise, if I'd known, I'd have warned them. I really would. You see, Lal can't say frog either. But he can recognise them. Ones we see in shops, ones we see in books, in the park, everywhere. And he loves frogs.

So, they started singing..

" 5 little speckled frogs, sat on a speckled log, eating some nice delicious worms.. yum yum.."

Lal's ears pricked up.. the cogs in his mind started turning.. he saw the picture of the frog in the book.. "F*CK.. a F*CK" I think the nursery staff when slightly green, but gamely carried on singing. Every verse again, "4 little speckled f*cks, sat on a speckled luck, eating some nice delicious worms, yum yum...3 little speckled f*cks.. " And because he only sings that one word, well two if you count "luck".. and is so proud of knowing the word.. and singing the word, he sings it so loudly, so that everyone can hear. A roomful of toddlers shouting profanity. Only one of my children could cause that.

One of the women, who informed me what had happened afterwards, said that by the time there was only one speckled f*ck left, even she was singing the wrong word. Another staff member had to leave the room due to hysterical laughter. I'm so proud.

I'm not sure when they are doing another music day, but I've asked them to check the songs they will be doing with me first. And today, Lal and I will be learning the "og" sound.

K xx