The date

No update last night. I was in the terror stage of actually having to put proper clothes out and go out with a man I've only known for 20 years.

I dropped the children off with my parents at around 4 and came home to get ready. Now then.. as there hasn't been a man in my life for quite some time, I had some preparation to do. First to go was the disastrous orange hair that I hadn't quite got around to redying since umm... September. I now have a nice shade of brown again. Virtually my own shade and the lesson is learnt. I will not put a home dye blonde on my hair again. Not until the next time I get bored anyway. Then the legs. Oh my goodness. I'm not joking when I say that three razors whimpered and died before I'd finished. What? It's winter and I wear trousers.. there is no need to shave. Must admit the Quilted Velvet toilet roll patches stuck to the cuts wasn't a look that I had completely planned, but I made it work.

To make a point, I wore the infidelity dress that K brought back from America after his dalliance with the ...*inserts BLEEP*.. person. I thought he'd appreciate that.

He picked me up at 7.30 and off we went. Picture the romance of the night.. thick frost making everything glisten and sparkle, a deep fog making the lamp light shine in muted shades of orange, me moaning that I was about to freeze to death and couldn't he turn the heating up in the car. He finally gave in and found me his gym tracksuit bottoms from the gym bag and I put them on under the dress, You honestly can't say that I don't have style..

We got to the restaurant (I did remember to remove the trousers first) and ordered food and wine. We talked a lot, had a lovely time. And then he ordered a second and fatal bottle of wine.

I have no memory of the rest of the night. There are a few blurs but nothing substantial. I do recall waking up at 4am at his flat.. in a state of well.. yes. I recall using his phone to order a cab. I recall getting dressed and coming home. I think I remember falling into my bed at 4.30 fully dressed.

As I said, my parents had the children, and I thought we'd arranged it that I would pick them up in the afternoon. But at 8.30 I was woken by fists hammering on the door. My lovely and delightful mother had brought them home. She took one look at me, still dressed in the infidelity dress, and gave me the same look that mums have perfected the world over. Disgust and disappointment. Ah well. It wouldn't be my life if I didn't make her shake her head and cry!

I haven't yet spoken to K today. I'm ignoring the phone calls. I was supposed to be taking things slowly, not having a one night stand with my husband, dammit.

And I owe G about a million pounds for how well she looked after Lal today. Except for one moment. She was sitting on her high sleeper bed, doing her homework, when she noticed that her bag was on the floor. Instead of climbing down to get the bag, she decided to lean down to get it. And then had to use her emergency voice to call me when she got stuck. Hanging upside down off her bed. I wonder where she gets her sense from?

A very hungover and ashamed..

K xx