The results..

Firstly.. getting ready for the off..

See how happy in his nappy?

Just checking he won't miss anything good on the tele..

And an action shot..

See how smart he looked? See the big turn ups on his trousers? My little shorty boy.

Right.. as I suspected, I was grilled thoroughly about his eating habits (lol.. see what I did? Grilled.. I didn't mean to) for 30 mins actually. Have I tried leaving bits of food around the house? Yes. Have I tried making mealtimes exciting? Yes. Have I tried pureeing it into mush and getting it in via drip or ng tube? No.. but it's an idea. Ok, the last one may have been my suggestion. I have to buy him vitamins. And keep trying to tempt him with something that isn't a gingerbread man.

I also got told off for not doing enough imaginative role play. Seriously. The girl who was tested before us, made the health visitor a nice cup of pretend tea. Lal attempted to walk with the teapot balanced on his head.

Umm.. he could do the puzzle, but got mightily annoyed as one of the pieces had lost its knobby bit.. so threw it first, then picked it up, and put it in the bin. Well.. if they are going to have toys.. at least make sure they are all in working order.

We were in there for an hour! An hour. And those of you who know me, know how nervous I can get when I have run out of things to say.. so I kept babbling on about nothing in particular until she finally got around to weighing him.. which was the only test I was really interested in.

He wouldn't stand on the big boy scales, he wouldn't sit on the baby scales - even though she helpfully sang Twinkle Twinkle . He just threw a pretend plate at her. Finally we resorted to weighing us both together, then me and doing a complicated mathematical equation. Subtraction then.

He weighs a massive 27lbs 12oz.. which puts him bang on the 50th centile. After spending most of his life languishing on the 2nd, this is amazing, especially considering his diet. And don't think I didn't say that.. ha.. lectures be damned.

Height, however, is another story. She did say that she couldn't be accurate - especially as everytime we got him standing straight, he would ever so slowly bend his knees as soon as she got the measuring thingy lined up. Got quite comical after a while. He is around 81cm. 2nd centile. Takes after me in other words. Great.

And that was it. I have to imaginatively play with him more.. force more speech and rig a dripping device to feed him meat whilst he sleeps.

Oh, the very best part.. at the end, after she'd given me my red book back, thank goodness, he ran away up the corridor, and started repeatedly banging on a door. I tried to get him away, but he did the toddler loose all ability to stand and fold into a limp mess on the floor... Could not get him away from the door.. Looked up, and in nice big letters, it said : "Stop Smoking Clinic" The little grass. At least he didn't do it at the beginning, I'd have been in there for another hour getting another lecture.

Pfft

K xx