A tale of two..

A daughter's night..

"Mum, can I stay at S's house tonight please?"
"Who is S? I don't think I've ever heard of her before.."
"Oh yeah, she lives over the other side of the park, we've been friends for a week or so."
"Umm, no love, sorry. I'd need to speak to the parents and stuff, not tonight, maybe another time."
"That's just not fair. You never let me do anything."
*hangs up phone*

Daughter then thinks, "Ah, sod it. I'll go anyway.. what harm will it do." And doesn't inform her parents of this plan. Daughter plays on friends Wii, has pizza and chips for dinner. Tell friend's parents that it is perfectly acceptable if she spends the night. Stays up till 2am giggling, joking and having fun. Daughter allows mobile phone to run out of battery and remains completely uncontactable. All night and until 1pm the next afternoon.

A mother's night...

8pm and no child home. She should have been home by 6.30. Where the bloody hell is she?? Ring mobile phone for the 50th time, "Welcome to Orange Ansaphone..." nothing. 9pm.. no child. Father starts walking through the park calling for her. Nothing. 10pm, no child. Father starts driving around the town fruitlessly looking. Nothing. Mother starts to panic. Finds old mobile and starts calling friends. No one has seen her, no one knows where she is. 11pm.. call police. Police start looking, but have no idea where she could be. Mother now screaming inside and watching out the window, but nothing. Father still driving round town.

1am, no child. Nothing. Father still driving, checking people leaving nightclubs, walking through the park and checking ditches. Mother hopes that child is just being a selfish teenager and that she has decided to stay with the nameless friend.

3am, Mother wakes from 30 mins sleep... no child. Starts cleaning and ironing in the hope of finding something to do.

8am, police call announcing they will do a check of friend's mobile number (located on old phone, but switched off when rung) and see if they can locate address.

9am, Police ask for photo of child to circulate round all stations and police officers. Mother breaks down in tears whilst trying to find a nice one and trying not to wonder if it is the last photo.

1pm, child brought home by police.

A daughter's night..

"Mum, can I stay at S's house tonight please?"
"Who is S? I don't think I've ever heard of her before.."
"Oh yeah, she lives over the other side of the park, we've been friends for a week or so."
"Umm, no love, sorry. I'd need to speak to the parents and stuff, not tonight, maybe another time."
"That's just not fair. You never let me do anything."
*hangs up phone*

Daughter then thinks, "Ah, sod it. I'll go anyway.. what harm will it do." And doesn't inform her parents of this plan. Daughter plays on friends Wii, has pizza and chips for dinner. Tell friend's parents that it is perfectly acceptable if she spends the night. Stays up till 2am giggling, joking and having fun. Daughter allows mobile phone to run out of battery and remains completely uncontactable. All night and until 1pm the next afternoon.

She's 13 years old. And so sodding sure of herself, and so selfish. It simply didn't occur to her that we would worry. Not one single thought to let us know where she was. She didn't think.

Of course, there were some comedy moments - who knew that touch screen mobiles were so sodding difficult to work? It took me an hour to work out how to find the contacts screen. I never did figure out how to add a space inbetween words on the text messages. (That wouldn't send cos the phone was broken, grrr)

Couldn't log into her computer as it is password protected. The password hint was "So we go
Up up - do the jump" which google informs me is something to do with LazyTown Live. I tried every single LazyTown permutation, nothing.

So, upshot.. didn't sleep all night (she did) didn't eat (she did) smoked an awful lot (she better not have done) but she is home, alive (for now) and well (again, for now)

And I have had an unpaid cleaner today. Who has washed up, put everything away, cleaned her room, done half the ironing, watered the garden, washed the floors and hoovered upstairs. I have played Mafia Wars on facebook to remove some of my aggression.

K x

Urgh.. nice

I'm a fairly nice person right? Tonight I have allowed the puppy to sit next to me on the sofa and sleep. He is stretched out happily, relegating K to the chair that he is too tall to sit comfortably in... and what is my reward? The gentle lick of a puppy's tongue as I type, the warmth of his little body against my leg? Nope. Farts. Yep. The puppy is flatulent. And OMG does it stink! I keep having to take short little breaths.. urgh. Have tried covering his bottom area with a cushion, but the smell is still escaping. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Just briefly tonight as I'm tired, and lightheaded from not breathing, a little story..

My, umm, Aunt's husband (who I last saw when I was about 5 and don't know at all, but have to be informed of all the gossip) has just found a lump of some sort and the doctors are worried it is cancer.. The following is a transcript of a conversation my other Aunt had with him.. *

*Names have been changed to protect identities

Aunt Helen "Hi Bill, how are you? Doing ok?"
Uncle Bill "Not so great, Helen, but I'll be fine.."
Aunt Helen "So when are you going in for your autopsy then?"
Uncle Bill "What the hell? I may have cancer and you want me to die??"

I think she may have meant "biopsy." It's now the subject of a family row, with Bill not talking to Helen, Bill's wife Jane moaning at my mother, Helen's husband Tom complaining to my father.

What a time to say the wrong word, huh?

K x

(Another leak from the dog.. I can't breathe.. the air is all hazy.. must be some sort of poisonous gas..."

It's been a while again

I can't work out why I keep forgetting to blog. I just know that it gets to 11pm and I remember. But by then I have lost the ability to turn the TV over, let alone think up fun and interesting things to say.

Even now I have nothing. Oh, maybe I do. We have a puppy (we had two, but my parents swooped in and stole one..) See the face of pure evil..

Yes, he is a Jack Russell. Yes, he does delight in biting my feet. No, he won't sleep at night on his own. I spend half the night lying on the conservatory floor with my head in his basket in an attempt to stop him whining. It doesn't tend to work. G is completely besotted with him. No actually, G was completely besotted with him and then had to pick up poo and the novelty wore off. Lal and Max (oh, that is his name... Max"the puppy in"amillion - chosen cos Lal can say it) are partners in crime, wreaking havoc on the garden..

Lal is coming along nicely now. No, he isn't a stew.. but you know.. he can almost speak. I appreciate the silence really. Or I would if it weren't punctuated by screams.

G is a teenage delight. She still loves Cadets, and loved being away on Dartmoor with them for two weeks. Except for one garbled phone call in which I was lovingly informed that she was "on manoevers and is hiding in a field, but my position is lying in a pile of sheep shite." Apparently they learn nice language at Cadet camp. OH.OH.OH.OH. You'll never believe it.. the morning after she came back.. she made her bed, tidied her room and cleaned away her breakfast plates. AND washed them up. She's been back 10 days now, so she has remembered to forget to do any of that now, but it was nice while it lasted.

G, showing how appreciative she was of being taken to a huge play area with massive sandpit.

She looks happy, no? Enjoying herself? Not bothering to constantly text. *sigh again*

What else? I can think of nothing, but promise (I do, Hayley, I do.. I'm sorry!) to write again tomorrow night.

K x