Today in my quest for Garden Perfection, I decided to tame the Shed. Or the place I often threaten to send the children to live. It's a nice little shed, more of a Log Cabin type thing.. with windows and carpet. It even had net curtains until this afternoon. Sadly, it has been left to rot over the winter, and G's tidying methods leave rather a lot to be desired. Within the 6 x 4 confines I found:1 Paddling pool
1 Awning for over paddling pool26 metal posts to put up awning 2 pushchairs, 1 fake silver cross and 1large antique Victorian thing (that was for display ONLY... she must have gotten it out of the loft by herself - that reminds me to tell her off.. excellent. 8 Babies. Not real ones obviously. Doll type ones. Just not sure if I'm allowed to call them d*lls yet. I think it works the same as Tinkerbell and the "no such thing as f****s" rule. I kill one with the word d*ll. Notice the child in me still won't say the words.. just in case **crosses fingers**2 D*lls Houses. One barbie type one, last used circa 2001, but to be kept forever, and one wooden one that Lal as completely fallen in love with. It has doors and windows and a roof that opens and shuts! (And that reminds me to ask G where the furniture for it is!) About 100,000 leaves, bits of rubble, dead spiders.. the sort of stuff that gathers in a shed when someone fails to shut the door over the course of the winter. Right. So. Got all that out, sorted the paddling pool and awnings into the bag they came in, hung them up neatly in the garage. Removed 6 dead/dying, soon to be dead and dying snails. Ran to the house, ran mind, to get the feather duster and hoover. Just because it's only a shed, doesn't mean Monica standards of cleanliness can't be adherred to. Got back with duster and started getting all the cobwebs down. Looked up into the eaves.. and saw what looked suspiciously like a wasp's nest. Urgh. I HATE wasps. At least bees have the decency to die of shame after they've stung you. Wasps could care less. Hmm.. wasps nest.. only looked like one in there, so smashed it repeatedly with a broom, killed wasp, and hoovered up the mess. Sorted. I lovingly arranged Lally type toys. A wheelbarrow, buckets and spades, the d*lls house, I even brought books in there from the house. Beautiful. Of course Lal trashed it the minute he saw the inside.. but hey.. that's what it's for! Ooh.. and his ride on Zebra. And the leather football that K insisted he needed, the child kicks it and it doesn't move. Can we not start with a plastic one? No? Ok then.
Shed sorted, I carried on with the gardening, longing for the day I can pave over the whole damn thing. 5pm, time to pack away. Bye bye ball pond. Bye bye Tent and Tunnel Combo. Time to put the things back into the shed. Oh. Slight problem. I opened the door to find all the little wasps buzzing. Well no, getting ahead of myself. I went inside and started putting away. Then noticed all the little wasps buzzing. They'd just got home from a hard day at work and were looking forward to getting into bed. Only THAT PERSON has killed their bed. ATTACK. It was the scene from My Girl.. Thomas J... only in my case, it was screaming "Lally ruuuun" to a child who has no idea what that command means. I scooped him up, ran to the house. Shut the door and breathed again. I daren't look outside now. They've probably set up camp on the patio and the Generals are marshalling the troops to attack at first light. I've been reliably informed that spraying the entire shed with Wasp Killer will just upset them even more.. thinking of trying ammonia.. I can't really burn them out, that would mean sacrificing the shed.. and it can't call for such desperate measures surely. Maybe they'll forgive me if I leave them the shed.. and a concilliatory jar of jam? K xx
(Pic is Lal in shed.. pre Angering Of Wasp Moment.)