K comes home tonight, well around 1am, and I'm usually up at that time, so consider that tonight. And I am nervous. And have butterflies, which is so stupid as we have been married for 12 years, together for 15 and I've known him since I was 7!
We didn't part on the best of terms, but things haven't been wonderful between us since my last m/c. I've been pregnant twice since Lal was born, the first was an ectopic and the second was a 7 week m/c. I had a few problems with what happened, blamed myself, and him.... he went away to work... everything went to poo! Thank Goodness I had bc.. the friends on there who have helped me are more wonderful than they know! Seriously.. and they all know who they are!
So! I have fired the counsellor, who was useless and told me things I already know. I have stopped going to my weigh in's, don't shout at me Hushy..I know what I'm doing, and have been eating so much better recently. For those that don't know me, I have had huge weight and eating related issues since my teens, and since all my problems (many, many problems, I'm a psychiatrists dream!) I wrote the last bit and went away to check the spelling of psychiatrist, and in the process forgot where the sentence was going.. so will leave it! And I have decided that I am going to stop being pathetic! And I am good at being pathetic. It's a real gift.
Tonight is the night that I put the fun back. Hence the nervousness. Or sheer unadulterated terror. :) The littlest monster has been kept up late so he should sleep through, and the bigger monster is currently washing her hair in anticpation of her school disco tomorrow night. There is angst over what to wear. I say jeans and a baggy jumper, she says form fitting dress. We'll compromise somewhere in the middle.
It is now crossing my mind that I should be mildly embarrassed about discussing my (lack of) sex life on here.. but after the endless TMI threads on my bb, I am ashamed of nothing anymore!
So! I am away to clean the house, put something that isn't my enormous fluffy dressing gown on, drink some wine, shave my legs (may shave legs before wine.. just my luck he'd come home to a blood streaked house otherwise. Has anyone else ever turned the razor sideways by mistake and cut a nice, neat line in their skin? No? Just me then.) and work hard at appearing not nervous.
Lal learnt to sing today.. if you sing "laaa laaaa" at him, he sings it back. Very cute. I hugged him and said "AWWW You're such a clever boy.. I love you I love you I love you" a lot. He got fed up with that and hit me with Thomas the Tank Engine. I may post a video of him later. Or hopefully tomorrow...
Right.. no more procrastinating.. I must get on, will just finish my cup of tea and check my bb first...
K x x
Thursday, 31 January 2008
K comes home tonight, well around 1am, and I'm usually up at that time, so consider that tonight. And I am nervous. And have butterflies, which is so stupid as we have been married for 12 years, together for 15 and I've known him since I was 7!
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
I had a routine check up this afternoon, one I entirely forgot about (that's my senility showing) and so had to ring my parents and beg a favour. I even managed to get my dad to come and pick the monster up! The plan was that they would have him for the afternoon, I'd go to the dentist and get some housework done (ie go on bc for a while) and I'd go and pick him up when G was home from school. It sort of went right.
I hate dentists, with a passion. It's not that I'm scared of them and their evil whiney drills.. more that I hate the pictures on the ceiling, the odd language that they use to describe your teeth, always using a hushed voice, so you have to strain to hear them speaking gobbledegook! And then I heard the word.. filling. Dammit (see how I didn't say bugger? oops) Just one.. but oh my word, the pain.
Now I am a wimp. I may have had Lal with no pain relief, I can do childbirth. A hangnail just about kills me, I have to retire to my bed like a wounded 1850's heroine if I get a headache, I just about pass out at a stubbed toe.I have odd veins that know when they are about to get a blood test, and so disappear, causing the nurse to stab me more times, and for me to end up a quivering wreck on the floor. And the dentist was going to stab me with a needle, drill and then do whatever he does to put the filling in. He did. It hurt. A lot. I have a coping method for pain, concentrate on wiggling my right foot.. and just look at it wiggling. I was asked to keep it still as I wiggled too much.
I spent the rest of the afternoon with a swollen morth, looking like I'd had a stroke and dribbling. It wasn't fun. And then the phonecalls started:
Dad " Katie, your mum has gone out and left me with Alexander, does he eat raisins before or after his snack?" My dad won't call him Lally.. it's not a boys name...
Me: "No dad, the raisins ARE his snack.."
Dad: " Oh, so he wasn't supposed to eat the pumpkin stew now then?"
Phone call 2
Dad: "Katie, with this nappy thing, am I supposed to put it on under the vest?"
Me: "Would you put a disposable nappy on under the vest?"
Dad:" No.. ok"
Phone call 3
Dad: "You're right, he does keep going in the toilet. He's just put my glasses down there."
Me:" I know, that's why I told you to make sure the toilet door was shut."
Dad:" I thought you were exageratting."
Phone call 4
Dad: "Katie, what does Umm bah? mean? He keeps saying it."
Me: "Whatever he wants it to mean at that given moment. What is he doing?"
Dad: " Pointing at me and lifting his arms."
Me: "He wants to get up."
Phone call 5
Dad: "He keeps crawling away and climbing up the stairs. I haven't managed to get the nappy on. Call me back when you get this message."
I give up. The man has had 5 children. We are all grown. Apparently my mum did everything. He was only alone with him for an hour.
My nice bc relaxing afternoon was a bust, as was the cleaning. Ah well, always tomorrow!
K x x
Tuesday, 29 January 2008
No ideas? At 10.30pm, I was happily watching CSI, sky +'d from earlier,in a nice clean and tidy house, when I heard the thump of Lal leaving his cot, and the rattle of the newly installed prison gate at his bedroom door. GRRRRRRRRRR
It's now 11.22.. he has had milk, bottom change and several dummies. He has been put back in his cot 6 times. He has climbed out of his cot 6 times. He is now in the play pen in the kitchen. I'll be sleeping at the kitchen table. He's just not tired anymore.
WHY? Why did I have to say it?
In the words of the Lal.. "Oh? MORE? ah bah.. MAMA?"
He slept through again! I think I'm going to have to stop remarking on this as if it is an unusual occurence, as its now been nearly a week! He's even stopped waking for the dummy shove back in manoever. Having said that, he must have a secret stash hidden somewhere round his cot, as I found 7 under there this morning. Including one I haven't seen for months!
Lal has a brand new word, almost a phrase, and I blame myself entirely. Today, I have listened when I speak and to what I say when something goes wrong.. which admittedly is fairly often. Apparently I say "Oh Bugger" A lot. And now, when Lal drops something, or knocks something over, he says "oh BUG" too. Bugger. I mean dammit. I mean, umm, oops? Maybe its just me, but when I accidentally swear, I berate myself for saying that profanity by using another.. and for that one another.. and so on. Until I give up and melt into a Wizard of Oz witch puddle on the floor. That happens regularly too.
K is still away, but is obviously missing me far too much to articulate how very much he is pining for me, as he has so far today failed to text/email/IM/phone. Too painful to hear my voice all these miles away. I feel for him, really. Although if it goes on much longer, he has several prized possessions that may get special "Katie" attention.
Took Lal to his first Gymboree session today. Every other "mother" there was a Nanny.. seriously. They actually expressed surprise when I said I was his mother. Apparently the area I live in is extremely affluent, though you'd never know it from the thugs I see walking around here, wish some of that would rub off on us!(Affluence, not thuggery!) He loved this group though, and is becoming more and more confident with each one we go to. It's frightening actually. I just wish that he would play on some of the toys instead of heading for the nearest door to pull faces through the windows, or unplugging the stero, hi fi system thingy and clapping at his prowess. Oh yes.. he can finally clap! So lots of big rounds of applause to the Lallyman.
Umm.. what else? My hand did the "I'm going to open for no reason at all whilst you are holding this cup" thing again. I can never keep mugs for any length of this before they are smashed to a milion pieces on the floor. I really don't do it deliberately. It just sort of happens.
Oh.. but the really brilliant news.. this weekend... wait for it... I bought.. a new washing up bowl. The excitement I felt over that stupid washing up bowl... I so need to get more of a life. But its silver.. and new... and doesn't have a bit broken near the edge so that when you empty it out your skin gets caught and causes bad blood blisters!
It's just now occurring to me that I could have turned it round the other way so that didn't happen.
K x x
Monday, 28 January 2008
Not much of note has happened today, Lal's been a bit subdued, and G had a dentist appt. Can't believe it, but she doesn't need any fillings, and they still can't get started on her braces as she STILL has three baby teeth! Back again in 6 months, and if they haven't gone then, she'll have to have them taken out.
As it was another boring day.. I have searched the dark recesses of my mind for something funny.. and found this memory. Another vicious bird attack. It happened on a winter morning in the year 1999, when G was three....
I was taking her to nursery, which was a 15 minute drive (in good traffic) from our house. The morning had started well, and the drive was pleasant, when there was a BANG on the front window. A bird had flown into it and smooshed itself, broke its neck and died. Very sad for the bird. Not so good for us.. Due to the broken neck, the birds head had become twisted so its beady little eyes were looking directly at us.. its feathers blowing in the wind. G was terrified (well before the days of car safety.. she was in the front seat- how old does that make me?) and not a little freaked out by the damn bird. Sadly, it was bleeding so there were little spots of blood on the windscreen. To distract G, I told her to close her eyes and that I'd sing to her. The best choice I could summon up, was "Two little dicky birds" possibly slightly inappropriate, but when you're looking at a dead bird stuck under your windscreen wiper, you can only come up with bird choices...
We were still 10 mins away from nursery.. I have the whole bird terror thing, and I had no option but to keep driving. And then it started to drizzle with rain. What to do? Make driving easier by turning wipers on and allowing dead bird juice to travel further over the window? Or try and peer through the rain spots. I peered. Couldn't stomach the other.
Had to have a long conversation with G about dead birds, and how "of course they go to heaven" .. of course they do. God loves all the animals and birds in the sky. Blood spots are getting bigger and my front windscreen is starting to resemble a particularly gruesome episode of CSI.. Grissom will be along in a min measuring bloodpools ad taking samples for DNA.
Finally arrived at nursery... got G out of car and ran inside, begged one of the nursery nurses to help me with the bird. Nursery nurses were far less squeamish than me, got a piece of cardboard, and some rubber gloves, and removed by now squashed and mutilated bird from windscreen and dumped it in the bin. G saw the bird going into the bin, followed by me compulsively crossing myself, praising God that I had survived the experience, and remained convinced for 4 years that heaven was in the bin. She became phobic about putting rubbish in bins.. would only ever put it into a carrier bag.... wonder what she thought of skips?
So that is part two, but really part one of why I am so scared of birds. There was also the time that I had my very own Godfather moment. The cat caught a bird and left it dead downstairs. The dog wanted to take credit for the find, so brought it upstairs. I woke up, opened my eyes.... there was a dead bird on my pillow. I have no words to describe the panic.
K x x
Sunday, 27 January 2008
Well! We've had a good, but lazy weekend! I did a Tesco shop and the ironing and that's about it! I also abdicated all childcare responsibility to K so had a little time off. I napped, watched films, stayed up stupidly late and nothing else! I'm tired again now, so I'll be brief tonight and go and watch the end of Ocean's 13. George Clooney is on my "sleep with if I had the chance" list. Wish I'd met him in Tesco.
Went into playroom earlier to see that Lal once again had no socks on. "For goodness sake lal, where are your socks? It's cold!" I then watched as he crawled over to the Tv cabinet, stood up, put his hand in the video slot and pulled out his socks. He understands me anyway. No wonder the video doesn't work anymore!
Now, I get random thoughts. A lot. Things I really, really want to do.. just to see what would happen. Or if what I thought would happen, would.. and how bad it would actually be. I could never actually do any of the following at the moment, but one day.. just before I die.. I will! I have to!
- To turn to car off and remove the keys whilst I am driving! Would the car immediately stop? Roll? Kill me and all its occupants? Glide seemlessly to a halt? Jerk crazily all over the road and end up up a lampost?
- To cut the bit of cord that threads through our bedroom horizontal blinds. I know they would collapse in a heap.. but what if they didn't? What if the cord serves no purpose?
- To frighten a skunk and see if it really does spray nasty smell all over me.. what if someone who was in love with skunks made that up, so people stayed away from them.. and no one was ever brave enough to check, so everyone just believes it!
- To find the people who our school teachers warned us about. Where is the girl who leapfrogged the rounders post and got impaled? The boy who broke his back whilst leaning backwards on chair? The child who ran across the field during a javelin lesson and was sliced clean through?
- Sneeze with my eyes open to see if they really will fall out!
- Cut a plugged in lamp cord to see if I do get an electric shock.
Friday, 25 January 2008
It was G's treat night tonight. I let her off homework and allow her to choose a Mummy and Me activity. Cunningly I purchased some almost out of date make your own chocolate covered apples mix stuff from the shop earlier for £0.95. So was hoping that would be the plan, and not having to watch another one of her dvd's. I hate that Lemony Snicket film with a passion.. and she always chooses it. ARGH!
So, after Lal was in bed, tea done and washed up, we decided to make the apples. Seriously, I needed a packet to do this. There is no chance I'll ever be a Delia. Washed the apples, stuck the stick in, and started melting the buttons, chocolate buttons, not random cardigan buttons. I overestimated the time they needed in the microwave and boiled them. They turned into goo. A goo that was entirely unsuitable for dunking apples in. Damn. I was sent to the shop to purchase more buttons. A friend I was Msn'ing at the time told me to just buy chocolate, but Miss G NEEDED to have actual buttons or the whole thing would fail.
I bought 11 packets of buttons. 11.. just in case 10 were too few. £4.73. For 11 packets. Now that's a rip off. Came home and K and I had a 25 minute discussion about the cost of inflation and how a can of Diet Coke used to be 25p. Which led onto us attempting to remember how much every bar of chocolate we ever purchased cost us. And half penny chews.. 2 for a penny. G just looked back and forth as if we had just stepped off the set of Oliver..
"Who will buy my sweet red roses?
Two blooms for a penny."
She thinks of everything in terms of Musicals.. and is hoping that The Lord (Andrew Lloyd Webber) will still be casting for musicals when she is 16.. she wants to BE in the West End. As long as it isn't Soho, I'll be happy.
Anyway.. argument about inflation stopped, although K is still wittering on.. he's now onto the fool who decided to change the name of Opal Fruits and Marathons.. G made the chocolate sauce for attempt 2 of the dipping apples and it was perfect. We rolled and dipped.. chocolate is now hardening in the fridge and I can hear her coming downstairs. I can only hope she doesn't have that damn Dvd in her hand. Just let the madman eat the children.. please...
K x x
Thursday, 24 January 2008
Another sleep through night last night. Yay! I'd love to be able to say I found some sort of magic cure, but maybe he'll only sleep through when he's ill and dosed up on medicine. He's loving the anti biototics btw, really, yellow medicine is a gift from God.
We had a good morning that all went horribly wrong. Played a lot, listened to our new Cd's.. Silly Songs and Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush.. there is no longer any chance that he'll be learning how to cut heads off from me, Oranges and Lemons don't even feature! We got a delivery from ELC, some lovely musical toys, so we had lots of fun playing with the bells and marraccas. Really. Lots of fun. It wasn't loud and annoying at all.
And then I went to the toilet. Except I didn't actually get to go to the toilet, as I realised that once again, the damn thing was blocked. And it wasn't the nice just water blocked like last time. I'll leave the rest..... Rang British Gas who I'll be on first names terms with soon, explained and they sent a plumber out - fab service again, he was here within two hours. He explained that toilets do become blocked when plastic things that make bubbles get shoved down them, similarly when toilet rolls, a little stuffed bear and a nappy go down there. All at once. It seems that the monster child has learnt that I remove things from the toilet when I can still see them in the water. If he uses the toilet brush (brand new, only for show so that people think I actually clean the loo occasionally) to shove them down further, no one takes them out. Wonderful. That's two plumbers in two weeks, its a damn good job we pay for the British Gas homecare otherwise it would cost us a fortune. Do you think the school would mind if I didn't bother toilet training him at all? And just kept him in nappies forever.. I am dreading actually allowing him near the loo.. at least now all he hears is no. Not that he takes a blind bit of notice.
This afternoon, we went to Gymbabes. He is no longer daunted by the apparatus and spent the entire time attempting to throw himself off things.. sometimes with success if I wasn't fast enough. He is VERY suspicious of the ladies who run it, as they know HIS songs. How dare they? He does a very cute and comical double take and looks at me as if to say "but they're ours mummy.. stop them.." Still won't go near the tunnel, but I wasn't stupid enough to climb in the other end this week. Tomorrow is the musical hell of Caterpillers. Looking forward to that one.
I helped G with her maths homework last night. Apparently it showed. She did get one right though. I didn't help with that one.
Stupid thing I say to G about when I was at school #356
"I can remember when I was doing RE, my friend and I used to pass notes to each other all the time."
G got a demerit today for passing notes to a friend in RE.
That's it! Gymbabes wore me out.. I'm off to do something that doesn't involve me sitting at the computer, but will get bored with that in 5 mins when I feel the irresistable lure of bc again.
I'm thinking about the book... but what on earth would I write??
(Oh and also... when on the phone to Britsh Gas regarding my household cover, it turns out that my cooker is covered. YAY! That means that they will come and fix the handle that G broke off the door months ago.. no longer will it need to be held shut with sellotape. I do have a husband.. he's just "too tired" to deal with household maintenance. He's rebelling against my authority, I'll sort him out!)
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Well.. a grand total of nothing happened today. To my complete shock, Lal slept through last night. I may be using Medised a lot in the future. In fact, he even slept later than usual.. 8.30am! Umm, what else? I managed the medications quite well. I've never known a child love medicine quite so much. I even had to do the pure ribena on spoon trick to stop his pulling the chair over to the sideboard to get the medicine down.
And, he is a complete faker, he's been a little slower than usual, but he's absolutely fine in himself. He even learnt a new trick.. although I won't be encouraging him to dive off the sofa headfirst again. Not sure he liked it much either. There's a nice little bruise.
Ah! I completely forgot! I decided to leave him in the kitchen with some toys this afternoon, for 5 minutes whilst I hadsome time on bc. Well, I am supposed to be a mod, so should check in every once in a while. Apparently he has now learnt how to undo the child stopping door opening device. Or at least he has worked out how to take the piece of ribbon I stick in the door out because we don't have any child stopping door opening devices. The ribbon worked for ages btw.. makes the door fatter. (Can you tell that I don't have a future in DIY?LOL)
So, he'd opened the door. But I didn't hear it then. I heard it about 3 minutes later as my brain is equipped with a time delay.... "Oh, noise, now what was H saying on bc about taking a test, and did J put up the new bed for M, and I wonder where L is, haven't seen her for ag.... NOISE.. door opening.... ALARM ALARM ALARM..." So ran to the kitchen, just in time to see L drinking out of a bottle of vinegar (please don't ask why the lid wasn't on properly, I've only told K 9000 times and you may be assisting me in my divorce, or at least me chucking him outside to sleep in the shed) and about to squeeze the helpfully opened bottle of ketchup everywhere.
Thankfully, vinegar does not taste good and so was spat straight back out, but he still spilt it all over himself and the floor. My house now smells like a chip shop.
So that's it. A non eventful day!
Tomorrow I'm taking him to Gymbabes.. hopefully.. might make him forget that medicine is required.
Ah.. one final bit about my daughter. My wonderful daughter, who as you may recall received a detention for rolling her skirt up. The detention was tonight. I picked her up from school. It takes a special sort of child to walk calmly towards our car, with her mother inside, having had her supposed deterrent of a detention.. with her DAMN SKIRT ROLLED UP! I was actually speechless.
Monday, 21 January 2008
I took him to the docs this morning, fully expecting them to tell me that I was, once again, being entirely neurotic and that he had a cold. But no. This time he is actually ill. He has a chest infection, ear infection and an asthma wheeze. He now has antibiotics (3 x a day) steroids (twice a day) calpol (every four hours) Ibruprofen (every other 4 hours) and tixylix (every 3 hours) I can't hope to remember that so I made a chart. With spaces for me to tick off. I love making charts, I used to do them for revision timetables at school. They were always so brilliantly neat and well decorated. I'd spend hours making them, which very rarely left me any time to revise. This chart today took me the whole of Lal's afternoon nap, but it does have flowers decorating the edges and the medications are neatky colour coded. I don't know why... I even made a special trip upstairs to get G's colouring pencils to do it. K thinks I'm insane. He may well be right!
Lal has slept for lots of today, and really doesn't feel well. Has eaten lots of yogurt and fruit, so I'm considering buying some disposable nappies to tide us over the next few days.. lovely!
G had cooking at school today. The poor child takes after me and it doesn't look like she is going to be a grand success in the kitchen. She was only making a fruit salad, but it was so tart that we all looked like we were sucking lemons... BIG smiles though, and fawning over the sheer deliciousness of it. The bottom of the outside bin may be getting a treat tonight, as long as I remember to accidentally leave two dirty bowls on the side, with spoons, so she thinks we ate it all.... She also had cross country tonight, as an after school club. Used her new football boots, which are apparently a necessity for cross country nowadays, and shaved 3 minutes off her time! I'm convinced that if she hadn't deliberately run through every muddy puddle she could find on the way round, she could have been even faster. She came home covered, literally, her legs were a brown mud encrusted mess. Oh yes.. she came home on the bus, so I'm sure the bus company are now cursing me!
Oh, the really bad new is, we had to cancel Gymboree.. I'm just... beside myself! I am so not a baby group person, stupidly shy in real life, and have to psych myself up for hours before to actually go.. so Yay! He should be ok for Gymbabes on Thursday though..
That's it for tonight .. I'm going to try to nap so I can be half awake when he needs me through the night.. checking chart.. its Calpol again at 9, I think... or did the green code mean ibrupofen?
K x x
It's back. Lal's dreaded three day cycle! He woke at midnight last night and was so very, very happy that all he wanted to do was play. And sing. We gave up. I was so tired that we just sat him in the middle of our bed, turned BabyTv on and tried to go to sleep. It didn't quite work as he loves fish, and everytime dh and I closed our eyes, we were poked, prodded, pinched and punched until we marvelled over the beautiful fish too. (I hate fish. After dh bought 8 for G in another attempt to distract her from wanting a brother, I kept the damn things fed and clean for two years. I was under the impression they died after a couple of weeks. Not our fish. They were specially bred with a longevity gene. I even accidentally left 4 alive ones in with three dead ones for two days and it still didn't kill them. We still have one left, this is 5 years later, and I swear the damn thing laughs at me every time it sees me. He's even managed to scare the cat away... Oh, remind me to tell you about when he went crazy and turned suicidal fish one day... )
So, we finally managed to get to sleep around 4.30, K got up and left for work at 6.30, and G was up at 7. Bless my beautiful girl. She got Lal out of our bed, played with him, made me a cup of tea and got herself all sorted for school. I'll never get annoyed by one of her teenagerisms again. I fell back asleep, have no idea how. But when I woke up, I was wet. Very, very wet. Lal had decided that I was being far too boring and upended the wet wipe box on me. I make my own wipes (earth mama.. marvel away..) and so the solution of teatree oil, baby bath and lavender oil was a particularly lovely mess to wake to. I can still smell the lavender..
The rest of the day went swimmingly (no pun intended!LOL) I failed to put the lid on Lal's juice cup on properly at lunch time, so came back into the room to see his splashing merrily away in his highchair. Cupboard, floor, walls.. all covered.
Spent a large chunk of the day cleaning, I do so love a clean and tidy house. Hate the actual doing of it though. Did 4 loads of washing... amazing when I did two on Saturday, not including the nappies. Might stop the family wearing quite so many clothes. If it wasn't for the fact that they'd all die of shock, I would stop wearing any at all. Ok, maybe not. It's winter.
We had a lovely mid afternoon tea with M. The lady from yesterday. I'm going to try and make it a weekly thing, but will probably bring her here next time, Lal isn't good in stranger's houses and I spent most of the time putting things back.
Oh.. and don't ever believe the "doctors" when they say that fresh air is good for you. We were out for an hour yesterday, with Lal so wrapped up he could barely move, and he's STILL spent all day sniffling. Recycled, heated air. That's whats good for you.
And finally.. thanks so much for reading and commenting! It's lovely that people are reading this and enjoying it, although I can't quite think why! I'm really loving it.. like this new bc thing a lot!
Fingers crossed for a sleeping night tonight!
K x x
PS: Lal learnt how to open the fridge today. He attempted to eat the cheese through the packet. I think it's a work of art.
Teeth Nibbling Through Plastic. The lifespan of a lump of Cheese. By Alexander S
Sunday, 20 January 2008
A few weeks before Christmas, I got a phone call from Help the Aged, as they are one of the charities we support. Oh, we have an Indian Grandmother! Lourdu-Mary. She is 75, but looks 110, she has one son who has leprosy, and we send £12 a month which keeps her fed, clothed, and helps her meet other people. Apparently she came 5th in a race! They send us pictures of her every year and she send us messages, saying things like "It is nice to see Katie and the baby are well and eating!" Does she mean I'm fat? lol
Anyway, they asked if we would mind delivering a few envelopes to a few houses down our road, and collect them, count up the money and send them a cheque! Me, deciding that i should do more for charity, said yes. I didn't realise that letterboxes are evil things that have to have been created by Satan. Yes, Satan.
We delivered, by we I mean Lal and I, the envelopes on Wednesday, dutifully ignoring all the stickers on windows that said "No junk mail, or free newspapers" I have severely bruised and cut up knuckes. There are brushes on the insides of those damn letterboxes, or hinges that spring shut whilst your fingers are still in there. It hurts (said in a crying for mummy type voice) It wasn't fun. Check yours... think of the poor postman..
And today, G, Lal and I decided it was time to collect them. Well, I decided, G came along under sufference and Lal was in the pushchair, so had no choice.
We were ignored totally at a few houses, ie, could see movement, but people hid. Maybe we looked like bailiffs? Two people gave me lectures about posting things through their doors when their stickers said not to. Ok.. but they didn't actually say NO CHARITY ENVELOPES. So I was in the right! But I smiled and said thanks anyway! There was one lovely old lady, who looked like she could do with some Help the Aged help herself, who apologised because she only had 20p. I let her have a Lally cuddle, and she cried! Said her grandchildren lived in Australia and she hadn't ever seen them. We're going to take some cake round tomorrow afternoon, and have tea!
Oh.. and one wonderful moment when the days of the Lally Noise were made all worthwhile. A lady was putting some money in the envelope.. when Lal said, in his very best and loudest voice.. "MORE?" LMAO.. she gave more...
And that was it.. we made, out of 40 houses, a grand total of £16.48. And $1 17 cents from some evil person who also gave 150000 Turkish Lira HMPH!
K is still dying, but I'm sure he'll make work tomorrow.. I'm going to try for an early night, and might watch some TV.. or carry on chatting on MSn as I usually do!
Saturday, 19 January 2008
G was up late last night watching Dvd's with Daddy, so she didn't deign to wake until 11.30. K has man flu, so is still dying. He perked up enough to watch the football this afternoon, and is currently being a tough guy, and just about managing to watch paint dry, I mean snooker.
Went shopping this afternoon.. always fun when its raining. I still haven't worked out how to put the raincover on our pushchair, so he got a little wet. Only a little.
The rest of the day was spent Lallying around. It's difficult to describe. So I'll do pictures and then go watch CSI New York. Got to get my Danny fix!
"Did you not want me to get the washing out of the machine?"
"I was hungry!"
"Ok, Poppy, I'll try and get up.."
"I did it! Victory"
"Now you want me to climb the radiator?"
"Ok, just cos you wanted me to Poppy."
The cat eggs him on apparently.
Friday, 18 January 2008
Last night was fun. MORE We went to bed early for a change, but were woken at 1.30 by the biggest bang I’ve ever heard from downstairs. My big, tough ex army husband decided that I had to go down and see what it was. MORE I didn’t, he did. He knows my methods. It turns out that the cat had been so deeply asleep on the windowsill, she failed to realize she was falling and took out a plant pot on her way down. Oops. No burglars, never mind.MORE Back to sleep.
Today started well, for a change. MORE Lal slept through for the third night running! Not without me waking up several times to check that he was still breathing obviously, he sleeps through the pokes now. MORE I may stop checking when he’s 20. No, 25. MORE
We’d just about managed to get dressed, when the Tesco delivery arrived, swiftly followed by the fancy organic vegetable box. MORE No mystery fruit this week, but we did get a coconut. And celeriac. MORE Which I though was still celery, but isn’t. It isn’t nice. Eww.
Then there was a knock at the door.. our Priest for an impromptu visit. MORE Ah. Quick checklist..
Been to Mass on Sunday … tick
Been to confession.. Tick
Supposed to do anything and forgotten.. can’t remember.
MORE Turns out he wants to complete Lal’s baptism. He only had the emergency one when he was about to go into hospital, so needs to have some more prayers and oil before he is “official” and goes onto the Parish Register. MORE This is the same Priest,btw, who is Lal’s Godfather. I’m not sure how that came about. MORE I think I was being polite and saying something about it being a shame that Priests can’t be Godfathers, he said they could. It was settled. MORE
K rang from station asking if I had seen his wallet. Nope. Looked everywhere. MORE Finally found it in Lal’s cot. Don’t ask. The Tv controls were in there the other day. And three of my sanitary pads. MORE He’s hoarding for when the Aliens finally attack. It makes sense! MORE
We braved our second baby class today.MORE Yesterday was Gymbabes which I think he enjoyed. He wasn’t so sure about being kissed by other babies, but loved removing the screws from the hinges of the slide (they should have pushed them in all the way) and handing in miniscule pieces of paper that someone hadn’t bothered to hoover up properly (his words, not mine) I enjoyed it. MORE Wasn’t so sure about Lal leading me into a tunnel, pretending to get scared and crawling out backwards and heading for the trampoline, whilst I was still stuck in there. Oh, how he loves me. MORE
Anyway, today was Caterpiller Music and Movement. It was exhausting. And loud. During the musical instrument session, Lal realized that there was a piano in the corner. MORE I don’t think he was supposed to play it, but he got a good tune. … “BINGO.. and Bingo was his name – o” It’s 8 hours later and I’m still singing it. MORE
G got the detention that I’ve been promising her for weeks that she’d get. MORE Learn child, it’s a catholic school, they will not be happy that you’re turning your (pleated) skirt over six times so it’s shorter. MORE The rules say knee length. I have to pick her up at 4.45pm on Wednesday. She has no MSN. A happier child there is not. MORE
And finally, realizing how easy it is to block the plug hole in the bath accidentally.. how is it not so easy to do it deliberately? MORE Weeks ago, Lal pulled the plug off the metal thingy (technical term) so I’ve been telling K that the plug would get lost. It has. I tried toilet roll, flannels, a sponge (sponge was very bad idea..) nothing worked. MORE So filled bath right up, and put Lal in whilst it drained away. G has already broken the shower, so we are going to be a stinky household, Again, lovely. MORE
Just put nappies in wash. Forgot to remove inserts again. Dammit. MORE
And if you are wondering at the many MORE’s dotted through, Lal has said it approximately every 17 seconds throughout today. I thought you might enjoy the pleasure too.K xx
Thursday, 17 January 2008
You have to feel a little sorry for Lal. He’s only just a year old and he’s already had three names!
Between Georgina and Lally, I had one miscarriage that put me off trying again for a while. Dh was also away a lot in the army, so we decided to wait and try for me when he knew that he would be home to help this time. The plan was to start trying in the March, with a view to conceiving around December and for baby to be born in September after Kit came home in April. There may well be a way of saying that in a sentence that makes grammatical sense, but I can’t find it.
I got my BFP in April. Lal didn’t want to wait to come, so when he was born, K still had 4 months left away. Great!
At the 20 week scan, I decided to find out what the baby was, but so G felt involved, the sonographer whispered it to her first. I could tell he was a boy from her squeal of delight! Because I come from a large catholic family (4 brothers and 15 nieces and nephews) all the good names where taken. I liked Alexander, G liked Alexander and K said, “Hmm, it’s a bit Scottish” Well yes, but you’re miles away, so you don’t get a say!
Lal was born at home, on my sitting room floor (lots of plastic sheets) after a 3 hour labour. Yes, you can all hate me now! His father had arrived home on leave the night before, so I wasn’t entirely on my own! I rang the m/w at 1.45am, and Lal arrived at 4.22. **puffs chest out** And, completely without drugs. Admittedly, that wasn’t intentional, but I couldn’t work out how to breathe the damn entonox in whilst the m/w was telling me to breathe in and push twice through each contraction. I did try, but I forgot to breathe out, almost resulting in a lung explosion. At one point, I do remember getting very annoyed with the m/w and telling her that I wasn’t going to bother anymore. Her response? To get the Doppler out and check his heart beat. Sneaky woman. He was born a few minutes later.
He had hair! Not much, but after the sheer baldness of G, it was a complete shock. He was also beautifully red, and perfect, not messy at all. I crawled up the stairs about 45 minutes after he was born so I could wake G up and ask her if she wanted to meet her brother. Of course, she had slept through my entire labour, so was over the moon!
After looking at him for a while, I decided that he wasn’t an “Alex” even though he had been for the last 20 weeks. We called him Michael Charles,, Mikey for short. Except we kept forgetting… “ K can you get AleMich.. umm Mikey a bib?” etc etc. We gave up and called him Alexander James.
When he was 13 days old, after 2 weeks of not daring to lie him down for fear of a stream of projectile vomit, he was sick so badly that he choked. K had gone back Iraq at this point, and I was terrified and called an Ambulance, He was eventually diagnosed with Pyloric Stenosis and was transferred to Great Ormond Street for an operation. Had operation, came home. All is now well. Few words not signaling absolute terror and helplessness felt!
Anyway.. how he got his name! I make up songs. It’s what I do. There’s the pooey nappy song:
Lally Le Poo, Lally Le Poo, tubby little botty all stuffed with POO.. he’s.. etc etc
The bath time song
He’s a Lally, Lally bather, Yes he is.. Repeat.
The stop screaming in the car song
“Hey Lally Lally Lally.. o O o O o OO”
“He’s my Lally lally lamb Chop, yes he is.. “ sung to tune of She’ll be coming round the mountain
I was singing to him, “He’s my Ali Lally Lander” And “Hi, Ali Lally Lander”
Lally stuck. K hates it. It’s not the name for a blonde, curly haired little boy. All he needs is a lisp and he won’t survive the playground. I was supposed to stop calling him Lally when he turned one. That was nearly a month ago. Oops.He’s been to Gymbabes today. I am exhausted. He isn’t, I have a feeling that it’s going to be a long night. I’ve given in and am about to order a Chinese..
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Ok, fine. I am writing under sufferance, but have a spare 5 minutes as Lal is being occupied by the Teletubbies and has a brand new rattle that arrived in the post this morning, From Mattel. I don’t know why, but I like to think that they have singled me out for special treatment!
Georgina Mary Alice, born 21st February 1996, at 2.21am and weighing an enormous 6lb 2oz.
She was an accidental conception, you have to blame the Catholic Education that failed to mention anything about sex. To be quite honest I wasn’t quite sure that I had “done it” (That is not to cast aspersions on Dh’s prowess, honestly honey, it’s not..) I didn’t realise I was pregnant until I was 4 months gone, so the wedding was arranged in rather a rush!
As far as I can remember, she was induced on her due date, as she had decided to stop moving. Being induced is no fun, and I do not recommend it, at ALL. It was a fairly quick, 5 hour, labour, but was fairly traumatic for the poor little 18 year old me. The ****** midwife kept telling me that I wasn’t in labour and that I was fussing.. she finally deigned to give me pethadine at 2am.. G was born at 2.21. She had to be resuscitated as it worked on her, not me.. HMMM
Sadly, she was an ugly baby. No chin, pointed head, entirely crooked nose, no hair.. I was planning on swapping her with another baby on the ward, but they were all boys… Dh promised that if she didn’t straighten out I could get a plastic surgeon to have a look..
Potted history bit:
Nursery aged 5 months – 4 years (MY GOD how expensive was that??) They weaned her and everything for me..
First walked: 1 year and 1 week, (she’s beaten Lal and is SO pleased about that) Walked for a grape..
First word: “NO” She still says that a lot…
First sentence: “Get down!” Doesn’t say that quite so much now.. unless its to Lal
First injury caused: Jumped up and broke nursery worker’s nose.. umm, oops
First broken bone: Aged 10, broke arm whilst playing rugby for the school. I failed to believe her and made her carry on playing. Took her to hospital 8 hours later. She says she may forgive me one day.
First truly embarrassing moment: Stripping down to vest and knickers in Church, colouring her entire body in with black biro and running around shouting “I’m a pider….”
She is very musically talented, no idea where from as neither I nor Dh can hold a tune, she’s Grade 4 at singing, and Grade 2 at piano. Wants to start the guitar as well.. more expense! She’s entering the dreaded teenage years and has a attitude that displays that. But can be so very sweet and kind as well. Currently going through an incorrigible phase.. it’ll end in about 5 years…
She is completely gullible, as evidenced by believing my “lamb” story.. she also thought for years that Sainsburys employees only got the job because they were kidnapped from the car wash and forced into labour..
Oh, she has a fear of car washes..
That’s my break time done.. Lal is after the mousemat again.. grrr… he’s fed up with me talking about his sister and wants me to start on him… but that’s another story for another day!
First day of Primary School
First Holy Communion
Monday, 14 January 2008
Managed to trick G into eating fish tonight. It was lemon sole in breadcrumbs, which she loved when she thought they were chicken nuggets, and felt sick when she was informed they were fish. I'm a tricky, tricky mummy. She wouldn't eat lamb when she was younger, as she had seen the baby ones playing in a field and just thought that it was too cruel. I have her completely convinced that lamb doesn't actually come from lambs. An kindly old Earl (the Earl of Winship) discovered a new foodstuff in 1308 but he didn't know what to call it. As he thought, he looked out the window and saw some beautiful lambs frolicking in the fields below. He decided to call the foodstuff Lamb. She is going to hate me so much when she's older...
The Lally Lamb (or Riot, as my father in law calls him) was good today. Only two issues of note:
1) Begging for cheese from my sandwich "MORE? Mama MORE?" and eating it. Or I thought he was eating it. As would you if you had heard the smacking of lips and YUM sounds coming from his direction. But no, he was alternately feeding bits to the cat and squishing it in my washing machine. Excellent
2) We have an old Grandfather clock in our hall that my husband inherited from his grandparents. It's a lovely piece, and has a beautiful stained glass door at the front. Lal has worked out how to open the door and now spends most of his time posting things in there. On the plus side, we found the X from the alphabet puzzle. He now has all 26 emergency dummies again.
Oh.. the most important thing.. he can WALK! Well, no, actually he can't. But he can toddle along whilst holding my hands now. I thought this might be progress, but its just made my back ache, a lot. I may spend the evening watching Tv on the sofa, instead of sitting on the most uncomfortable computer chair ever in front of the pc!
And one final thought. Lal wears cloth nappies. I was them every three days. ANd have done for aproximately 11 months. Why do I never remember to remove the insert from the nappy, do the tags up and turn the wraps inside out BEFORE I put them in the nappy bin? Why? It's not a pleasant job to deal with stinky three day old nappies when you have to do all the above! It would be so much easier the other way...
K x x
- Attempted to suck an old man's toe. His fault for wearing sandals.
- Accidentally got caught on a lady's brooch and ripped her cardigan.
- Ate a hymn book
- Stole £1.16 from the collection plate
- Crawled up the centre aisle shouting "DA DA" to the Priest
- Helped conduct the choir
- "Talked" loudly all through the sermon
- Emptied baby bag of all items and showered various people in talcum powder
- Gone to 8 random strangers for cuddles (and a sneaky attempt to steal their glasses)
- Pulled a young girl's ponytail. Hard
My darling daughter serves on the Altar during Mass. I think she planned it deliberately so she wouldn't have to sit near us. Today, she managed to get a seat behind the pillar, so I couldn't mouth at her to sit straight, stop fidgeting. I can only hope that she felt the force of the mummy glare through said pillar and behaved herself.
The rest of the day was spent attempting to tire out the monster child. So we played. We sang. Incy Wincy Spider is a new favourite. He managed, over the course of the day to:
- Crawl upstairs 24 times ( I counted)
- Remove every CD from CD rack twice
- Change the settings on the TV its all in Italian... Nessun Signale anyone? We are assuming No Signal, but can't understand how to get the signal back.
- Remove every nappy from nappy cupboard, losing three somewhere.
- Train the cat to sit still whilst he put the stacky cups on her head.
- Leave his plastic cars on the wooden floor in the hall so I slipped on them.
- Somehow negotiate the supposedly locked cupboard in the kitchen and get at the cat food.. he enjoyed his snack.. eww
We used Hushy's fab sleep method again tonight, put him down asleep. Could hear him chattering to himself so went up, he was standing in his cot and as soon as he saw me, he dived to the pillow and almost pretended to be asleep! But the method has worked for two nights, so I still love her...
Oh..and he discovered a host of new dummies... 26 to be exact, well 25 cos we can't find "x"
Yes, that is the letter "T"
K x x
Friday, 11 January 2008
Another non sleeping night last night. Only from 11.30 - 4.40, so it wasn't too bad Woke at 7 this morning to see that Lal had escaped from our bed (yes, I know, he should have been in the cot) and was eating his breakfast. Well, the contents of the tub of sudocrem. Is it a rite of passage for all one year olds? He's probably got a list somewhere of things he's ticking off.
- Wee on all members of family
- Aim sick so it goes directly in their mouths
- Have an accident that ensures maximum blood loss, but be fine three minutes later
- Shout out inappropriate things at most inopportune moment (still to do)
- Eat tub of sudocrem whilst ensuring maximum smear possible.
Oh, I realised why the new cup I bought for him from Boots was rubbish and wouldn't let him drink anything. There is a piece of plastic you have to take out of the tip before it will work. Never seen a child drink anything so quickly.
Umm, what else? We played a lot today.. actually I played and Lal just got everything out of the toybox!
Oh! He had his first real chocolate bar. He chose it himself from the shop.. a milky way. He loved it!
Not sure whether to tell him that the wrapper needs to be opened first... he thinks he ate chocolate anyway... Is that wrong?
That it! I'm off.. going to watch last night's ER.. still miss the days of George Clooney and Noah Wyle.
And I can promise that I don't resemble him. Well, much anyway. So what on earth is a POB?
Public Order Breach? I honestly can't see me causing riots as I walk down the street
Point Of Beginning? Well, umm, Am starting a new me, could be that, ish..
Passenger On Board? I'm definitely not pg, and why would my hairstyle let people know that?
Place Of Birth? Umm, It's Essex. Nothing more is to be said on that subject.
Post Office Box? A real contender as the base colour is now a coppery red..
Product of Boredom? We have a winner!
K x x
Thursday, 10 January 2008
Anyway, he went back off to sleep at 4.30am, which wasn't too bad, but stayed in bed with us, which was bad as he always gets the middle and ends up horizontal whilst dh and I cross feet and cling to the edges of the mattress, shivering as Lal has all the covers. Dh left for work at 6, I didn't wake, but did open my eyes briefly at 7 to ensure that G was up for school. She was. And wearing her jumper, and new shoes.*
Had the usual day, naps in the morning, tantrums in the afternoon. Why does he just not understand that normal household objects and toys do not live down the toilet? We've already had the plumber out once this week.
(distracted again.. tonight's smell was wafting in from the hall, cat had pooed. Delightful.)
Went to Tesco tonight as had to get G some new school tights. She wears the 40 denier ones, no one would be seen DEAD in the woolly tights that I was forced to wear, and they are constantly laddered. Hence Tesco trip. Spent 15 minuted in freezing cold and pouring rain trying to remember where I parked the car. Upon closer key inspection, I remembered that I had taken dh's car and was standing in front of it. Dammit. It's possible I have the brain of a dead flea. Who had alzheimers. And a lobotomy. Twice.
That's it from me, am hoping for an early night to make up for last night's misadventures.. also trying a new sleep method recommended by Hushy. Child will no longer be cuddled to sleep, he will be put down awake in his cot. I promise I tried tonight, but he fell asleep as I was carrying him upstairs...
K x x
*Shoes later found hidden at back of wardrobe and shoes with holes in worn to school.
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
(ah, just got distracted as I suddenly realised what the horrible smell that's been following me around since Lal went to bed, sick.. lovely!)
Umm, what else? We discovered the relative joys of hummous/humous,hommus.. the Greek stuff. I say we, Lal had it on toast and I gagged at the smell.. seriously? People eat that stuff??
Then G came home from school, it's a warm and balmy 4 degrees here today, and she was wearing a shirt.. no jumper, no blazer and no coat. She only has to catch two buses and do 5 min walk, not enough to time to "feel the cold" So her belated Christmas present will be bronchitus, or pneumonia,she's not picky. Oh, and she came home wearing the school shoes that apparently didn't fit anymore at the end of last term, hence the new Hush Puppies on the Saturday before she went back to school. Her friends don't like the new ones.... THAT'S why she wore the shoes with holes..
And the day ended with her listening to her Ipod with the speakers that my dear, darling husband thought of as a Christmas present for her. When I say she listened, I of course mean that we ALL listened..
Friday, 4 January 2008
- At some point, they will wee and/or poo on you
- You will think "tonight is the night they will sleep through" and within 17 minutes the baby will have woken up.
So.. at 2am I gave up and brought him into bed with us.. he has learned that Tv Controls do actually turn the TV on, so we were subjected to the dubious delights of Baby TV. Fun! K and I alternated between watchful sleep, full on sleep, pleading, dozing, begging, singing and rocking before Lamb finally passed out again at 4.30am. Yes.. 4.30AM. You would think that he would sleep in to compensate for his broken night. Yes? NO! Up with the lark at 6.45. Ouch. I have spent the afternoon/evening swigging Coke (the drink!!) and looking for something to glue my eyelids open with. And now? At 11pm? I'm wide awake, with no hope of sleep yet!
G decided that I was not spending enough time with her... I think jealously over the baby has finally come to the fore. I've been expecting it for a while, but for her, the reality has now set in. The long awaited, much begged for brother is not an instant playmate. He is annoying, loud, unable to be left alone, gorgeous and brand new, so is universally adored by everyone he meets! And her nose is out of joint. I did try to warn her that it would be like this, hence getting her a dog for her 6th birthday and telling her that he was her new "brother" - hey.. it worked for two years - but today she was feeling left out! So we had some "Mummy and Me" time which involved popcorn, crisps, playroom and The Simpsons Movie. It was actually quite funny, yes, I do have a puerile mind.. children's cartoon are about my sense of humour level at the moment, but I now realise the fuss behind the damn "Spider Pig" song.. Argh.. I only heard it twice and it is now permanently lodged in my mind.
Right... off to bed, will try not to breathe.. may be easier to sleep on the floor... except there is that squeaking floorboard at the top of the stairs... hmm... Are stairs comfortable to sleep on?
Thursday, 3 January 2008
Ok.. the boring introductions bit tonight, and then ever hoping that something interesting happens tomorrow so I can write about it! Always supposing that what little brain I had hasn't atrophied and I can actually remember words and how to write!
I am Katie, am an ancient 30 years old. And I have two children, a husband, a cat and a fish. The cat is frightened of the fish. And the children. And me. And just about everything. And when the cat gets frightened.. well... it isn't pleasant.. and takes a while to clean up.
Georgina, the girl, is 11. And rapidly approaching the teenage years. She actually thinks that she is already there and acts accordingly. I consider it a personal achievement that I haven't buried her at the bottom of the garden.. or sold her into slavery.
Lal, the boy, has just turned one. And is therefore approaching the toddler years. If the first year is anything to go by, and if he follows his sister's example... it's going to be fun! He still can't walk, which is a blessing, but he can crawl... and boy can he crawl fast. Everywhere he isn't supposed to go! I had no idea that the phrase "Please don't try to get in the toilet" would become something I say several times a day.
The husband, K, well he is good really. He used to be in the army, but left in April 07. We are learning how to live with one another.. it's been a very long time, actually never, that we have been in the same house most of the day and all night without even the hint of a deployment on the horizon.
Lal... caught climbing..