Saturday, 3 May 2008

Embarrassing toddler moments

There are a few.. G ones usually. Lal hasn't perfected the Art of Embarrassment yet. He'll get it though. *sigh*

When G was younger, I took her swimming every week. I couldn't get her to actual classes because I was either working or at Uni, so we'd head off on a Saturday morning and play in the baby pool.

Far from being a mute like Lal, the only words he seems to say are either swearing or unintelligible, she had a huge vocabulary. Which wasn't so much fun.

When she was 2, still in pull up nappies, off we went to the pool. Swimming Costume on under clothes, pull up on under cossie. Perfect. Whip it out when we got there, straight in the pool. No fuss.. etc etc. Once again. I was wrong.

We arrived in the It's Saturday Morning and therefore packed changing rooms, got a cubicle, and started to get ready. She was chattering away as usual, nothing out of the ordinary.. I started to inch the nappy out from under the swimming costume. Sudden silence outside the doors and Little Miss G pipes up, in her best carrying voice.." No mummy.. noooooooo.. please... don't put your fingers in my bottom.. noooooooooo"

Silence turns to frigid shock outside. I started gabbling on about removing the nappy.. no fingers.. it's not happening.. NO! "There.. NAPPY off from UNDER swimming costume baby.. let's go.."

I swear the child was whimpering when we left...

Embarrassing tales Part Two

Walking to shops, aged 4.. stop to admire daisy's near a 40ish year old man chatting with a group of friends. Hear him exclaim in disbelief, " I mean, I ain't done nuffin wrong.." Lose control of child, who wanderes over to him, pulls his sleeve, and said "If you haven't done nothing wrong, then you have done something.. that's right isn't it Mummy?" Umm... run?

Electrician, standing on step ladder in our sitting room, fixing lights to the ceiling. 3 year old wanders up to him, appropos of nothing and says.." We don't say f*cking ell in this house.." No one had said it!

Mass, aged 3.. removes all clothes except for body type top, colours in legs and arms with biro, and run around shouting.. "I'm a 'pider.."

Can't wait until Lal starts speaking properly.. really..

K x

No comments: