... had better not stop.
Lal and I went to town today. The unthinkable had happened and we were out of Gingerbread men..so an emergency trip was necessary. G and friend decided not to join us.. because, you know, they would have had to walk for a mile and a half to get to the shops. They preferred the 2nd choice of staying home, walking to chip shop and spending their pocket money on lunch.
So, Lal and I set off. About 75m in, my legs started aching.. and as luck would have it, a bus was coming our way. I decided, for the third time since Lal was born, to give public transport a shot. (They let me down badly the last two times... no room for Biggest Pram in the World first, and Too Small Doorway on the second occasion.) On we got, paid for my ticket (£1.50 for a 6 minute trip.. daylight robbery) and off we went.
There were lots of lovely old people on it already, all of whom cooed over the boy and appreciated his woollen trousers.. and then I felt it. And heard it.
I may have mentioned before that Lal has a few teeny, tiny issues. Well a newish one is that he cannot be in traffic. You simply cannot allow the car to stop else he screams, cries and whines. It is a little distracting. So today, when I felt and heard the bus slowing down at the end of our road, I braced myself for the inevitable.
He didn't disappoint. Screaming. crying tears. "No Stop.. raffic. Nooooooooooooo" The old ladies to the back of us asked me what was the matter. I explained, quite loudly, as I needed to be heard over the screams. I assured them that he would stop as soon as we started moving again. Which he did.
There are 6 sets of traffic lights and one junction before the bus reached our stop. We got stuck in one small line of traffic whilst we waited for an inconsiderate fool to turn right..(screaming hysteria) but were quite lucky really. We coasted through the first two sets of lights without stopping, at the third there were tears, and people were starting to laugh at the boy.. I'm not exaggerating, it really was like clockwork... engine starts to idle.. Lal starts to scream.
As the 4th set of lights approached...the bus driver said, "They're turning red.. what shall I do?" "Creep slowly towards them... just don't let the bus stop.." And bless him, he did.. we approached the lights at about 1 mile per hour.. Lal remained quiet. Got stopped at the next set.. Lal screamed.
By now, people on the bus were crying with laughter. It was like we were reenacting "Speed" .. Personally, I think ours is a far better version.
I can safely say that this was the very best bus ride I have ever experienced. They applauded him off the bus (to save their ear drums) and one lady gave him £2..
Public transport attempt number 3 was a success..
The Fail - You asked me why I hate that “newspaper”. The one whose “reputation is so bad it can’t be libelled”. Let’s have a look at its headlines and articles today....
1 year ago