It's here..

I couldn't get to sleep last night, even though I was absolutely exhausted. I can just remember feeling a strange sensation.. foreboding. When I finally did drop off, I slept well, but I woke with the same feeling.

It was a lovely sunny day here, no clouds in the sky, nice and warm, and yet I still felt cold. I kept shivering and getting goosebumps.

Lal and I did some gardening, I'm pleased to report that G's old wooden push along trolley is helping Lal to walk, either that or the patio just didn't feel nice to crawl on... But he had a lovely time, and the fresh air did tire him out. Oh yes, I even found G's old Teletubby tent, inside which was my mobile that I lost last year... excellent.

I enjoyed the gardening, sorted a few bits out, cleared some weeds so the bulbs could actually grow... but whilst I was out there, I didn't notice any birds singing, or any noise at all except the passing of cars. It was as if the birds had been frightened into their nests, as if something was coming, an ominous event that terrified them. Even Poppy (the cat) has been skittish and strange all day. And the fish has been lying in the same corner of the tank, unmoving. ( I did hit it with its net just in case it had died, nope.. still with us..)

It was just an odd, odd day. And the feeling never left me, it was like I had tummy butterflies all the time, but with no real reason for it.

And then, at 4.16pm, I realised why.

It's half term. No school until a week on Tuesday. That's too many days for me even to count. The foreboding has now gone, and I am left with sheer dread.

K x x

Weetabix.. why?

Lal had Weetabix for breakfast today. Yummy. He ate the lot, including some pureed pear. Oh how happy I was. I then decided to do some cleaning, as the house is a tip, and half term starts next week and I can't even think about allowing more mess to be created on top of old mess.
When I clean, I start upstairs. And everything gets shoved into the kitchen and that is the last room to be done. I finally finished everywhere else at 1pm. And Lal woke for lunch. So he ate lunch whilst I got myself ready for Gymbabes... can't go without full make up and unstinky top!

I then got him ready and left the kitchen for when we got back. Had a fab time a Gymbabes... he is still tunnel scared, but loved all the other equipment. Got very excited when they said we were singing " head shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes.. " but they got the tune and the words wrong so he had a paddy and did HIS way of doing it anyway.

Right. so back home. Kitchen to be done. Got it all finished, except one bowl. The bowl that had contained weetabix, but now contained dried on cement. It soaked for 40 minutes in hot soapy water and the weetacement still would not come off. Scouring pad. Still on there.. I eventually had to scrape if off with my nails and a knife.
My own fault for not soaking or rinsing straight away... but why? Why is it necessary for weetabix to dry like this? That got me thinking of alternate uses..

• Weetacement to build houses. Strong durable... problems only occur in heavy rain..
  
• Weetamdf... used to create stunning tables. Can be shaped to own liking. Just add water, leave to dry, job done.
  
• Weetabrick... For all football hooligans. Add milk. Leave to dry for three days, throw at rival fans.
  
• Weetacovering for rockets.... can't see the ozone burning it up somehow. Much cheaper for NASA
  
• Weetashield.. for the discerning policeman... handy for holding back angry mobs..

Honestly.. there is nothing weetabix can't do. Except come off breakfast bowls without the use of a knife and much swearing...

Oh yes.. on that note... Lal is not losing the B*gger..
Me: "Say Georgie.."
Lal:"Oh B*gger"

Of course he is a little right, on occasion...especially tonight.. but its not appropriate! Just not.

Any other weetabix uses.. let me know!

K x x

The monstrous monster at Mass

G went to school today, so all was right in my world. Well almost. For some reason she decided to wake at 5am. Its quite frightening to open your eyes to a fully dressed preteen holding a baby in the gloomy morning light. Especially as said children had put baby tv on our television. I woke to the dreaded Bouncing Ball... it does have a lot of fun that ball.

We had a slow morning, put Lal down for his nap at 10.30, and I showered instead of slept. I am really missing the nap.. I may have to leave the "I stay up stupidly late for no reason" group I started on here. I am failing in my duties there.

And then we went to Mass. Just to explain, if you're not Catholic.. to us Pancake Day is Shrove Tuesday (never to be referred to as PD .. ever... ) and today is Ash Wednesday. We all have to go to Church and have a cross drawn on our heads, in Ash, by the Priest. And I had to take Lal.. by my ownself. It wasn't fun.

Firstly, we got there late, so the only seats left were right at the very front of the Church. In full view of everyone, especially the Priest (Lal's Godfather) Behind us were sat two lovely, old Irish ladies. Lal started off quite subdued, he may well have been terrorised by my attempts to park the car, which was eventually left abandoned and blocking the entire church car park. He then noticed the two old ladies, grinning and waving at him from behind us. They became fun. He needed to eat, sorry, play with them. One minute he was sitting on the pew, the next he had vaulted over the pew and was eating their gloves. Nice black leather ones. Wonderful.

Retrieved monster baby, sat him down at my feet. His next mission was to remove everything from the baby bag, and show them to the ladies, using his best "outdoor" voice. Sadly everything was either a "BOOK?" or a "DUCK?" or a "MORE?" There was a lot in that bag, it took a long time to get it all out.

We then we up for the Ash. Lal was far too excited as he realised that his favourite man, except Daddy, in the whole entire world was there... Fr B! "Daddddaaaaaa" And attempted to launch himself out of my arms to go to him. For goodness sake. Not on the Altar child, show some decorum. We sat back down. But Lal was now aware that Fr B was there and kept trying to escape up the aisle to get to him. On three occasions I had to remove him from the Altar steps. The old men, who serve at Mass, were in bits. Desperately trying not to laugh. I was not amused.

And then came the sounds.. and the dancing, there was no music at this Mass, so he made up his own dance moves. At one point I had my hand over his mouth to shut him up. He thought I was playing the Indian game, so shouted louder. We then went up again, for Holy Communion this time, once more into the Fr B appreciation society. "DAdddddddddaaaaaaaaa.. hiya? Up? Mamaa?" Please child, stop it, he's not your Dada, he's Fr B, and he'll tell Jesus that you are being loud and annoying... I bet Mary never had this trouble..

Sat back down with lovely old ladies, who by this stage were handing Lal money, 3 x £2 coins... of course, these coins were used to bang out a tune on the back of the pew, and then put into mouth.
Old lady #1: "I told you Birdie.. he'll eat that coin and you'll kill him, choke he will. Take it off him."
Old lady #2 " Don't be so daft, she's a clever wee girl.. there's no chance she'll eat it."

Btw, Lal was wearing a checked shirt, smart trousers and a vest top thingy, all navy blue.. its the girly curly hair, obviously.

Mass finally came to an end, and on our way out the door, after spending 15 minutes picking up all his strewn belongings, and slipping £2 coins back to the old ladies, Fr B said to us... "There was no chance of missing Alexander James' presence today, was there?" Oh, the shame..

K xx

Ps: In case you were wondering, Lal was retraumatised on the way out of the car park, by my efforts to reverse. The car was not amused either and came off slightly worse in an argument with a wall. The wall won, the car has a long scratch down the side. Why can't I reverse? WHY? Haven't told K yet, he won't be happy either.

Fool me once

G was home sick today. Woke feeling very, very ill. I even heard the sound of retching coming from the bathroom and presumed that she was actually ill. I did check the homework diary last night, and there was nothing left unfinished so I decided to believe her. My mistake.

She spent the morning snoozing in our bed, whilst I tiptoed round the house telling Lal that "Georgie" wasn't feeling well and we had to be really very quiet. His idea of quiet and mine vary wildly as the rhymic banging of a £2 coin on the wooden bathroom floor will attest.. but we tried. We even cancelled going to Gymboree as she was far too ill to be left. Poor child.

Of course it was all an elaborate fake and by 11am, Lal's nap time, and my peace and quiet time, she was down stairs complaining of boredom. And I couldn't even take her to school as I, like the dutiful mother I am, rang them at 8.15 and told them she had a stomach bug. Grr at the 24 hour school ban in cases of anything stomach related.

So I put her to work. But she then developed a migraine of such astounding pain that she was only able to feebly lie on the sofa, moaning, needing cold compresses. The blinds were drawn so she could lie in a darkened room, glasses of ice cold water asked for and given, and the door shut so Lal didn't climb all over her. She was very ill in that 6 minutes until I heard the sound of those awful American children's programmes. that awful, awful one... with the psychic girl.. name forgotten, but I hate that show.
Tv off.. lights on, blinds open and Lal placed none too gently on the "feeble" childs stomach. I went to the shop for 5 mins rest.

Upon my return Lal had had his hair done, 5 minutes I was gone, maybe 6.. and he had a full head of gel. He looked like he had a curly mohican. Ridiculous, and not the slightest bit cute, no matter what the "up to the minute in fashion" child said. Poor boy. The last time I left her with him she dressed him in one of her old dresses.... he did make a cute girl though!

Poor G did make a complete recovery by 4pm, when her friends were home and she could talk to them on MSN.. She will be forcibly dragged out of bed tomorrow and sent to school. Without doubt.

Lal, on the other hand, has been an angel today. No really. I'm not being sarcastic. He discovered the joys of Uno, and spent ages pressing the button waiting for cards to fly out and hit him in the face.

Lent starts tomorrow.. that's another Mass I have to take him too.. this time on my own, oh that will be fun! He has made his Lenten promise.. he's not giving up anything.. he's going to start walking..he is.. he is!

K x x

10 vitally important things about me

Ok.. I have been thinking about this one for over a week, and I am almost sure I have at least some things. Not sure whether they are vitally important.. I suppose the only really vital things are that I need air, water and food, but they aren't limited to me. Heat would be nice too.

1) I have 3.5 sugars in tea. 4 if its a big cup. I can immediately tell if K has cheated and only added 3. Related to this one.. I cannot make tea for anyone else.. apparently I make them boiled water with milk... this skill has been honed over the years so I now never have to make the tea!

2) I don't really like chocolate. I will have the occasional bar, but only if it can be immediately followed with plain crisps. There is something about the chocolatey taste in my teeth. urgh *shudder*

3) I am a neat freak. It takes over my life. I cannot leave the house if there is stuff all over. Seriously, the piles would grow whilst I'm out and I cannot enjoy myself. Everything has to be put away before bed, everything. I hoover upstairs and down every morning, bleach the sink last thing at night, clean toilets 3 or 4 times a day. Its an obsession. I have a rule that the children can make as much messy mess as they like, but it HAS to go away, in correctly labelled boxes, at night. Obviously I am responsible for Lal's mess at the moment, but he has learnt to stuff things in the clock, which is almost away.

4) I love having babies. I wish I hadn't waited so long in between the two. I know life made me, but still. If I ever get over the sheer terror and panic attacks at the idea of getting pregnant again, I would love to have three or four more.

5) I talk all day long. Constantly. Drives K crazy. I explain to Lal what we are doing, where we are going, have random conversations with people in shops, usually not to them, just in their direction. I have held long and in depth conversations with myself about the state of the lettuces in Tesco, fortunately people now assume I'm talking to Lal, but I'm not really. I make up songs about everything, which would be marvellous if I could sing. But I just can't!

6) I may sound like a Mills and Boon heroine.. but I adore my husband! I can't imagine my life if he had not been my brother's friend, and then mine! He has been away for most of our marriage, I have followed him aorund the country, I have worried for him, dreaded phone calls and knocks on the door. BBC news24 was always on in my house when he was in Iraq, but I wouldn't change a thing. He was my first proper boyfriend, there was a boy in Primary who made me a bracelet out of coloured paper clips, but we don't speak of him.. He puts up with many eccentricities without (much) complaining.. and is a good father.. can't praise him too much, he needs something to aspire to. If he could learn the knife drawer rules, he'd be practically perfect!

7) I worry. A lot. About everything. The children. Lal now sleeps through being poked to check he is still breathing. As does G.. yes she is nearly 12 but still gets poked. I panic until she gets home from school. I am far too overprotective, some would say suffocating, but she is still my baby girl and I can't let her go off, well anywhere! Even to town with her friends. I'm a worry wort. Lal has been going through a period of not eating food with lumps in. He'll eat finger food fine, but things of a jar consistency make him gag. Somewhere in the back of my mind I am convinced that he has a lump that is preventing him from swallowing correctly. I have so far contained my need to get him to the docs for MRI's and CT scans.. somehow!

(This is far more difficult than I thought)

8) Oh yes.. the bad one. I am a recovering smoker currently going through an active phase.
One day I will stop again. One day soon. I tried announcing that I was giving up again on my bb, but I then failed to answer any questions as to how I was going. They got the message eventually. I think I need to be pg again.. sure fire way to quit cold turkey.

9) I cannot eat food that touches. This makes life difficult when you are eating stew, pasta, soup etc. I have to seperate it. I very rarely get hot meals. The only exception to this is that I will eat cheese and cucumber together in a sandwich. That is the only exception

10) Umm.. 10.... umm I am not allowed to keep pet hamsters after accidentally killing one when I was 6. It was a hibernation accident and involved wrapping in towels and placing under linen in airing cupboard. My mum said I was never allowed another, I tend to agree.

K x x

A distinct lack of snow

BBC weather lied to me, flat out lied. They promised me snow storms. They promised that Essex would be covered in snow. We didn't get one single flake. Not one. Nada. Nothing. Instead we got sun, lots and lots of sun. All very well in summer.. but in winter? In what was supposed to be a snow storm? NO! I feel cheated, and betrayed. It's the Michael Fish "little bit of wind" debacle all over again. Please, no one tell me that you were unable to leave your house this morning, or that you woke to snow having come down the chimney into your sitting room. I'll cry.

I love snow! As you may well have guessed. I love the pure whitenessof it, the crunchiness under foot.. the footprints leading to the obligatory snowman.. I just do. In expectation of the snow storm, I washed Lal's snowsuit last night, I found G's gloves, I even braved the spider paradise that is our garage to find the sledge. All in vain. So the weekend started badly!

We had our trip to the park anyway, all bundled up (for the sun) and spent an hour freezing outside. It was fun! We saw squirrels, large boys playing football, dogs running freely in the fields and then pooing. All a delight. I did discover that my Lal is a genius. Honestly. Whilst wandering through the "wicked" woods.. (G loved Wizard Zoz when little, so all wooded areas became wicked..) .. Lal pointed at every tree and said "Book" Impressive no? 13 months and he already knows that books come from trees. I am so proud.

We did the swing thing, the placing of baby next to object for photo.. the taking of photos of older child so she doesn't feel left out.. fed ducks.. played Pooh Sticks.. tried not to drop an entirely confused by Pooh Sticks baby into the river. Moaned about being cold (me) sent texts (G) waxed lyrical about the bracing winter air (K) and smellily pooed (Lal)

All in all.. a fun day!

Came home and tried to open a coconut... coconut isn't nice when you haven't won it at a fair, and is now in the bin. Got the lecture from K about how the milk inside a coconut is sterile and can be used as a drip in emergency situations. I'll remember that one. I'm sure it'll come in handy. Sometime.

I am now going to attempt the ultra fun task of ironing. Oh joy.

But first.. some pics of our day at the park...

This isn't fun... can we go yet?


Pooh Sticks.. mine is the one in front!


G.. blending into the background in hot pink


Do I climb up?


"Book?" Lal the treehugger


K x x

Annoyances and Injuries

I like to think of myself as a fairly mellow person. Other people do not describe me as mellow, apparently I can be extremely impatient, sarcastic (that one is a real surprise) and downright nasty if things aren't done my way. My way being the best way,and therefore the only way things should be done. Obviously.

I made myself a cup of tea,and some cereal for breakfast today. I went to the knife drawer, no idea why its known as a knife drawer when it hold all the cutlery, but still... went to the knife drawer and got out a spoon. Except it wasn't a spoon, it was a fork. Tried for another spoon, this time it was a knife... Why? Because my dear husband fails to learn that it goes knife.. fork.. spoon (for cereal) spoon (for tea) and misc. I think he fails to learn this deliberately as he has never once gotten it right. I should maybe be grateful that he had put the washing up away.. I am.. but please, learn the method.

Anyway!

I have somehow managed to hurt myself three times today. The first time was a Lal related injury. Some would say deliberately inflicted. I was merrily typing away on bc, when I saw the mouse disappearing behind the pc table. Lal was under it again, pulling at wires. I decided to play peek a boo, so bent down on all fours and said boo. Lal was excited by that, and decided to show his pleasure by slamming the keyboard tray (thing on rollers keyboard sits on) into my forehead. Hard. I saw stars, and Lal collapsing with laughter. Nice.

The second time was entirely my fault. I was getting the broom from the cupboard under the stairs to sweep up the remains of Lal's lunch. To do this.. I stand on one leg, hold onto the side of the door and lean into the cupboard. I would walk in normally, but then I'd have to spend 3 seconds moving the highchair, and that would be precious time wasted.. besides my way is more fun! Except today, I slipped on a piece of carrot that Lal deliberately left where my foot goes and I fell sideways first into nappy bucket. Excellent.

The third time was again my fault. We have a large banister thing in our hall, and I like to swing on it and jump to the second step.. so grab hold.. swing round.. second step. This also means I have the momentum to run quickly up the stairs. I can't run unless I swing. Today I decided to let go mid swing, about 65 degrees too soon, and flew though the air into the (luckily) shut sitting room door. That one bruised my other shoulder.

And that's it for today! I'm off to pick up the biggest monster from her school disco.. I lost the toss.. knew I should have done scissors instead of rock...

K x x

Ah yes.. the biggest annoyance of the day... WHY is this necessary?



(Is it wrong that I deliberately took a picture of that to show you? LOL)