So.. you all now know about my children. Maybe its time you learnt about me. That and the fact that I have had a rubbish day, and don't feel like ranting tonight. Oh.. and the me is as I was then, when I was little, not the me I am now, who actually doesn't have anything interesting to say!
I was an odd child.. I was part of a large family, 4 brothers, but by the time I was 5 they had all left home, so was also an only child. Which is odd in itself.
I used to make up friends. Nothing odd there I hear you say. But my friends were all named after me.. Big Katie, Little Katie, Blonde Katie, Red Katie.. you get the picture. They used to play badminton with me over our washing line. That was exhausting.
They also used to spend hours playing monopoly, yahtzee and connect 4 with me. Hours of fun there. It's only looking back that I wonder why I never won? Even my imaginary friends beat me. That's very sad. It's no wonder I'm like I am.
So, we've done the friends... now onto the terrors.
There were only two things that really scared me. The first were the burglars who came in the night. To my knowledge, we were never actually burgled, but just in case I had a fool proof plan. I would get into bed, and line all my teddies up in a neat row, and sleep entirely still. That way, if the nasty man came to take me, he wouldn't know which one I was, get confused and go away.
Saying that just reminded me of the Teddy Order. Teddy Order was very important so that no one teddy felt that he was closer to me than the others. I was very aware of favouritism. So I used to create a chart. On Monday night, Teddy would be closest to me in bed, Tuesday it was Monkey's turn and on Wednesday Rainbow Brite got the prized spot. Very fair. And only slightly insane.
I was also rubbish at naming things.. teddy was called Teddy, monkey.. Monkey. I blame Enid.. she and The Famous Five sucked the creativity right out of me. Sadly I still use smashing to describe something good.. never went quite so far as to use wizard.. Also often tried to brush my hair 100 times like Gwendoline Mary Lacey.. surely the best character ever created... Malory Towers and Miss Grayling turned her into a good person in the end.
Digressing again. Waffle award anyone?
2nd terror. Wee Willie Winkie. For any young ones out there who haven't heard of the Winkie, he was terrifying. Look away now if you don't want to have nightmares.
Wee Willie Winkie's riding through the town
Wee Willie Winkie, in his nightgown
Rapping at the windows..
Crying through the locks..
"Are the children all in bed? It's past 8 O'clock!"
Imagine a cowering three year old.. being told the tale by her 4 adored older brothers. They put on the scary voice, and ended the rhyme with one of them knocking on my bedroom door and shouting "Winkie's coming.." Years I was terrified of that. Years. Evil Gits. They still do it to me now and I shiver. (Read it to G though.. some traditions have to be carried on, and Winkie was a fairly useful one..)
To go back to the bears. They were weapons used in the ongoing war against my mother. She would tell me off.. I would get upset, very upset. I'd stand at the top of the stairs, and throw them down one by one. After the last one, tears streaming down my face, I'd shout "Now look what you made me do,.. I've killed them, killed them all." Poor bears. No wonder Monkey had his tailed stapled on, glued on, and finally held on with a plastic sandwich wrapper tyer up thing. (what is that called??)
Just in case you were wondering what became of the bears.. they were both cremated with my beloved cat, Charlie, when he died 5 years ago. He lived to the grand old age of 18, and I couldn't bear for him to be alone. I am actually shaking my head at myself.. feel free to join in.
I feel I have now given you an insight into me as a child... it may well go a long way to explaining why G and Lal are as they are. It's genetic.. don't blame them.
K x x
(Pic is me, aged 5.. super bunches!)