Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Playing the teen

Apparently no one can read my journal anymore... but I like the idea of talking to myself, it's something I do fairly often.

(Oh.. reminded me.. has anyone ever heard of a quote, possibly in relation to WW1 poetry that goes "I hold long conversations with the dead.." Whenever I use this line, K or G will suddenly stop giving me the "yes..." and actually turn their attention from the television and promise that they were actually listening and not just agreeing that the cat should be shaved, microwaved and stuffed. I have been unable to find this quote anywhere and am becoming convinced I made it up. Tried googling, but just came up with some wonderful How To guides on suicide... )

To get back to yesterday, even though its today.. I became a born again teenager. I decided that I wasn't going to be mum last night. G and her attitude and Americanisms are driving me insane. So, as a special treat for her, I became her for one night. She nearly died when her friends rang and I used the special phone language. Lots of "babes" and every word that ended in "er" was replaced with an "ah" I'm talkin abaht ma bruvvah... It took so much energy to do... Oh oh.. I even managed a "Talk to the elbow cos ur (see.. I can do text tlk) not worf the extension..." One of the worst phrases ever made up. Ever. I hate it. Oh, and the random T's missed out of the middle of words... how can you say "details" without the T? Surely it takes MORE effort to miss it out...

Happily, by the end of the night, G had left the ghetto, and was speaking properly. She has promised that she will continue to do so, as long as I swear on the Bible never to speak to her friends like that again. Ever.

And now to Lal. Day started well. Someone, a nameless someone, but a large male someone, forgot to shut the Prison gate on Lal's bedroom door. I was woken at 6.45 by G shaking me, and asking where the baby was. Cue frantic houses searches, but honestly, where else would the 14 month old be, but downstairs watching teletubbies?

What else? He attempted another fridge raid, but was foiled by me. He very kindly took all his nappies off the airer and put them inthe tumble dryer. I hadn't actually asked for that to be done, but it was a lovely thought. Maybe he is trying to teach his father?

What else? He still won't eat my meals, although I did actually give up on the salmon mash. We may have had easy peasy Jacket Potatoes instead.

That's it for last night, but actually today... the only thing left to's pic is Lal using his initiative to get even closer to the Teletubbies.Glass shelves will do that for you. Can anyone guess whether or not I used the magic words "If you sit that close to the TV, you'll get square eyes." I am not my mother.

K x x

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