Dammit

I have become a terrible journaller.. journalee.. journal writer. Not only becuase I tend to annihilate the English language with my over excited use of ... and !!! but because I haven't written one in ages! And so much has happened. Not all of it good.. some bad.. some frankly unbelievable and some entirely miraculous.. but since I wasn't writing, you'll never know!

So.. the mini catch up. Lal is now 17 months. G is 12 years and a bit.. I am still nowhere near 31 and K is still an idiot. Seriously. Lal has some good language skills, he can communicate his wants fairly effectively.. and if his language lets him down, a graceful sink to the floor and an all out tantrum usually gets him his way. Actually, that could also be used to describe G at the moment. Toddlers and teenagers, who'd have 'em?

What prompted me to write tonight is a cautionary tale. Something that every parent knows not to do. But no matter how sure and certain the knowledge that it is wrong, at some point in your precious child's toddler years, you will drop something on the floor and swear. It doesn't matter how many times you lovingly murmur "love you" to your child, or "Say mama.. dada.. car.. boat.. duck.." The one time the will copy the very first time they hear a word, it will always be Fuckit.

It's sad, but it's true. It's humiliating, and even if you don't react, they know that that is a forbidden word.. one that will cause you endless agonies whilst you are shopping in your local shop, or whilst you walk down the road and stop to chat with a lonely old lady.

Today, Lal learnt that word. Today Lal used that word at least 50 times. Today, I died more deaths than I care to imagine.

It started with a loving moment. He was playing happily with his Alphabet puzzle, I looked at him and felt that amazing tug of love, the one that makes me well up and not quite believe I made him. I called to him, "Lal, come give mummy a kiss.." He looked at me, sighed and said "Ah fuckit."

He then proceeded to remove every letter from his Alphabet puzzle and forget that he can say A B C P and SSSS and rename them all Fuckit.

A - Fuckit

B - Fuckit..

and so on.

I am no sort of parent. I am a person who has vowed to say Oh Dear a lot. and who sits in the corner and rather forlornly says "It's not a DUCK LAL" in the vain hope that someone will remove the cussing and replace it with a harmless duck.
K x x