Monday, 9 June 2008

Tuppaware, ramekins and crafts, oh my!

Last night I had an epiphany. Actually it was this morning, about 1.45 and I was on my knees in the kitchen desperately searching for tuppaware.

My epiphany? I am not an earth mother, a yummy mummy, someone who has neatly stacked boxes of tuppaware in the cupboard.. ready for any emergency that may arise. I may have the electric knife (no plug.. well there is a plug, but it's open as I stole the fuse for a lamp) the hand mixer (no plug again) the hand blender (plug but unable to get all Lal puree goop out of so shoved to back of cupboard - Lal pureed FOOD goop.. I didn't puree him..) popcorn maker (unused) sandwich maker (burnt hand, being punished.. not used) endless bowls that haven't been used since my mum gave them to me before we got married but may one day come in handy... but No tuppaware.
I do try. When Lal was first weaning, I bought ramekins. I still have pristine ramekins in the cupboard.. I thought of sending them back as they didn't work, but apparently the lids aren't supposed to snap on in an airtight manner. I still have the Annabel Karmel ice cube trays... cleverly designed to hold the perfect amount of goop for a meal, all for the amazing price of £399.99.. or something anyway. I must admit, I did use those a few times in my puree everything to death and actually buy Butternut Squash days. I think I gave up after I broke my fingertips trying to get the frozen food out. (Anyone else find that? In the "I adore my baby and nothing processed or not lovingly crushed, mushed and pureed by my own fair hand is going anywhere near my little darling's mouth..) phase, you bought fruit and veg that you'd never even heard of? Or am I the only person who only knows carrots, green beans, broccolli and peas?)Where was I? Why do I use brackets? It only distracts me. Ah yes, earth mother, not so much. As most people who know me know, I've done half this parenting thing before. G is 3/4 formed.. 12 and only 6 years to go before the heady heights of Uni or the Dole Queue (What? Ihave confidence in her...I said Uni first.. ) With G, because I loved her, I tried to do Arts and Crafts. Mummy and Me time. I bought brand new shiny books, in hard back, with 1001 fun things to do with glitter, paper clips, pipe cleaners, toilet rolls and brightly coloured paper. I mangled old cd's to turn them into beautiful Christmas decorations. I really tried. Honestly. We were lucky the cd's didn't slips from the flimsy pritt stick (I forgot to buy proper glue) and wedge themselves in our heads as we walked under them. The Angel "how to" guide advised me to use string to hang them from.. garden twine is not acceptable. It can cause Angel decapitation. And childhood trauma. Glitter is still covering my kitchen floor and it hasn't been used for 5 years. We've had new flooring in that time too. I occasionally get the baking bug. I'll spend an entire day mixing, stirring (not the same thing according to the recipe) moaning that it is impossible to fold a runny mixture (well it is!) I'll create dough that sticks to the rolling pin no matter how little liquid I use, or how much extra flour gets shoved on top. I forget that we have a fan assisted oven so everything comes out burnt. I pray nightly for the dishwasher that never comes... but I do try. Just a few weeks ago, I made Play Dough. MADE IT. Not bought it, or ordered online. I made it. Of course I lost the fingerprints on my right hand because I failed to properly believe the part of the recipe that said "wait to cool, when removing mixture from the microwave, it will be EXTREMELY HOT" (Actual capitals in the recipe) I just had to check. It is extremely hot. Ouch. I'm rambling now. I'll get back to my point. Last night, this morning, at 1.45, I realised that I do not, and never will own enough tuppaware bowls(?) with matching lids to prevent my daughter's blushes at school. She had to take in ingredients for a cookery lesson, gone are the days when you sent in £1 and they'd bought the ingredients in bulk. Oh no. I now have to measure out 25 (what's the thing that isn't ounces? The new fangled measurement thingy? Well that) of flour, 25(?) of caster sugar (Ooh.. grams!!) 50g of butter, 25 g of raisins... and they all have to go in their own little pots. The teacher sent a note home the time I sent in a 2lb bag of flour and a new tub of marmalade.. Poor child ended up with 1 weaning pot, one mini tuppaware pot (stolen from my mum at some point no doubt) and the rest of the ingredients squished into little plastic freezer bags. It occurred to me at 3.30 (Lal still not well) that I should maybe put the butter in a pot and the raisins in a bag...Ok, off to wallow in my mothery uselessness.

K x x

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