Saturday, 28 June 2008

Press "G" to go down

Sadly, K has developed a particulary nasty case of bubonic plague and was unable to have the children today. His miracle cure should work well enough that he'll be able to have them tomorrow though. Poor man, bubonic plague.. nasty. It couldn't be the sniffles, or all the sport that was on the tv.. nope. Deathly illness. *sigh*

So, both brat monsters, once more in my possession. Well I did say I didn't want to give him every weekend with them. I suppose I asked for it. G was happy though, it meant she got to spend all day with her friend. She slept round her house last night.. I'm such a soft touch... it was the same friend who was with G during my "moment to savour." She's nice.. taller than me, which is never fun. Actually, as of yesterday, G is taller than me too. Damn my mother for stunting my growth.. smoking when pg.. pfft.

Right, so three children, baking hot day.. what better than a 3 mile walk to town to buy holiday clothes and suncream. Oh yes, we're off to Scotland, to meet Hushy, at the end of June. I've heard that Scotland have very hot summers.. no rain, right?

Halfway to town and I was melting into a puddle through sheer over heating.. I'm too young for hot flushes.. please say I am.. Forced Ellie and G to push Lal for me whilst I attempted to cool down by fanning my top and splashing water on my wrists (No mum, it doesn't work.. all it does is waste good evian. Actually, I'm too cheap to use real evian, bought a bottle about 6 years ago and just fill it from the tap..) I lagged back, G and Ellie about 20 yards in front, when a gaggle of giggling girls accosted them, surrounded them, and said, "That kid yours is it, slapper?"

Well.. to say I was dumbfounded isn't quite enough. How dare they call my child a KID? He's not a bloody baby goat. I walked up, was given the once over and dismissed as no importance... which annoyed me even more, and ranted..

"No, the CHILD is mine. Is that a problem? Do you place such little value on your own morals that you are willing to tar everyone with the same brush? Is your education so sadly lacking that you refer to children as kids? Kids are baby goats, just as kittens are baby cats. I suggest that you go home and read a book. Or does your weekend consist of walking around wearing more make up, and shorter clothes than prostitutes on a girls night out? Yes, I can see how constructive you would find that. Looking at you, I don't suppose you have any other options. Your parents must be very proud. Now go please, I am taking my children shopping."

(I get pompous when I get annoyed.. it's endearing.. )

Now.. Thank God they were too startled at being shouted at by a melting 5ft 2 woman, who was doing strange things with water on wrists to attack us.. I started shaking about 6 minutes after passing them. But honestly? Who says stuff like that? Poor Ellie and G were humilated and refused to talk to me for 20 mins.. about the same amount of time it took for us to reach the ice cream van.

And then the lift. I hate lifts anyway.. but I think I was being punished today.. urgh. We went upstairs in BHS, had to take a faulty school bag back for G (everyone HAS to have a Jane Nor, Jane Norman bag? I don't know, I didn't listen and bought a BHS one.. it broke. Served me right apparently) Took the bag back, got a credit note - I can't keep receipts - and tried to get back down. One lift, middle of day, now that's the best time to bring up a huge trolley filled with food and 8 clothes rails. Pfft. We waited, impatiently for the inept saleswoman to get the trolley out. It took 8 minutes. 8 minutes with Lal throwing his brand new Bob the Builder Toy on the floor, and G and Ellie saying" Can we have this top/skirt/trousers/boots?" NO!

FINALLY managed to get in the lift.. and the woman said, "Press G to go down." No.. really? OMG. You've just sorted out a lifetime of lift uselessness. i get in and just expect it to know where I'm going. It's like a light has been shone in the darkest recesses of my brain.. Press G to go down.. to the GROUND. Of course. D'oh. Stupid, stupid woman. Unless the melted puddle that was me looked particularly thick.. actually, that sounds more likely. Oh, and during the trolley containing food moving, she dropped a cake with sticky yellow icin in the lift doorway. The doors opened and closed 9 times before I realised I was going nowhere and kicked the cake that was now stuck to the door out of the way..

And that's it for today. FIL was waiting here when I got home, he mad Lal hyper. I'm thinking of cutting off contact.. It's 10pm and he's throwing books across his bedroom. Having climbed out of his cot. *sigh*

My throat is hurting.. I'm getting G's cold..


K x x

No comments: